Tag Archives: toilet training readiness

Toilet Training For Preschool And Stuck in Neutral? Here’s Why…..

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Many of my clients are in a rush to get their kid trained in the next few weeks for school. They have been making some headway over the summer, but things can stall out half-way through.  Here are some common reasons (but probably not all of them) why kids hit a plateau:

  1. They lose that initial boost of excitement in achieving a “big kid” milestone.  Using the potty isn’t an accomplishment now, it is just a chore.
  2. Parents and caregivers aren’t able to keep up the emotional rewards they need.  It is hard to be as excited about the 10th poop in the potty as the first time.
  3. The rewards used aren’t rewarding anymore.  A sticker or a candy might not be enough to pull someone away from Paw Patrol.
  4. An episode of constipation or any other negative physical experience has them worried.  Even a little bit of difficulty can discourage a toddler.
  5. Too many accidents or not enough of a result when they are really trying can also discourage a child.
  6. Using the potty is now a power play.  Some kids need to feel in control, and foiling a parent’s goal of toileting gives them the feeling that they are the ones running the show.  “I won’t” feels so much better than “I did it” for these kids.
  7. Their clothes are a barrier.  When some families start training, it is in the buff or with just underwear.  Easy to make it to the potty in time.  With clothes on, especially with button-top pants or long shirts, it can be a race to get undressed before things “happen”.
  8. They haven’t been taught the whole process.  “Making” is so much more than eliminating.  Check out How To Teach Your Child To Wipe “Back There” and The Ten Most Common Mistakes Parents Make During Toilet Training for some ideas on how to teach the whole enchilada.

Should you pause training? The answer is not always to take a break.  I know it sounds appealing to both adults and kids, but saying that this isn’t important any longer has a serious downside.  If your child has had some success, you can keep going but change some of your approaches so that they don’t get discouraged or disinterested.  If your child really wasn’t physically or cognitively ready, those are good reasons to regroup.  But most typically-developing kids over 2 are neurologically OK for training.  They may need to develop some other skills to deal with the bumps in the road that come along for just about every child.

Sometimes addressing each one of these issues will move training to the next level quickly!  Take a look at this list and see if you can pick out a few that look like the biggest barriers, and hack away at them today!

For kids with low muscle tone, including kids with ASD and SPD, take a look at my e-book, The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone.  Read Why Low Muscle Tone Creates More Toilet Training Struggles for Toddlers (and Parents!) to understand why I wrote this book just for you!   

I give parents clear readiness guidelines and tips on everything from the best equipment, the best way to handle fading rewards, to using the potty outside of your home.  It also includes an entire chapter on overcoming these bumps in the road! To learn more about what my e-book can do for you, read The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

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Waiting for Toilet Training Readiness? Create It Instead!

 

 

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Fall has arrived in New York, and toddlers know the best way to enjoy it!

I just watched a therapist on YouTube tell parents how to look for toilet training readiness signs.  From her limited description, you would have a better chance of finding truffles in France!

The signs of readiness in special needs children can be subtle, so do not ignore moves such as going behind the couch before having a bowel movement (if they can anticipate it, they can do it in the potty, too) and jumping around a bit before urinating into a diaper.   A lot of signs are not that hard to see.  Low Tone and Toilet Training: The 4 Types of Training Readiness  Other than the physiological ability to keep a diaper dry for 1.5-2 hours, which is reached around 18-24 months, most of the other types of readiness can be facilitated.  Even in special needs kids.    And I am not taking about forcing any child to use the toilet.  Ever.

The good news is that you can create more readiness without force.  You shift their awareness, give them vocabulary, engage them in elimination events, and through it all, you inspire them.  Sounds simple, but it takes some thought and effort.  It is totally worth it, from the savings on diapers to the decreased stress on you and your child when you do start training.

Not every child needs your help to become ready for toilet training.  I know plenty of parents who say that at least one of their children really self-trained.  Sounds hard to believe, but a motivated and attentive toddler that has been watching an older sibling…well, they have been taking notes!  They just need a little bit of encouragement, and off they go.  “Go” as in go to the bathroom.

Creating more readiness in toddlers that aren’t self-starters isn’t hard.  When you diaper them, you narrate and explain.  It sounds silly at first to do so, but children are sponges and absorb more than you think.  You are inviting them to attend, not encouraging them to watch the TV while you wipe them off and strap a diaper on them in standing.  Have them participate by holding wipes or clean clothes, go get a clean diaper for you, and when they are ready, have them toss out a well-wrapped dirty diaper.

Let them see how it’s done.  I wrote a post on this, Low Tone and Toilet Training: Kids Need To See How It’s Done  so I am not going to go into the details here.  Let’s just say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  The less language a child has, the more your demo helps them to understand the process.

Read those potty books, watch those potty videos.  Not just your child, but you too.  If you are watching and reading with them, you are communicating that you value the idea of their participation. Speak about their eventual independence in terms that inspire.  Not pressuring them, inspiring.  We talk about how they will go to school one day, be a mommy or a daddy one day.  This is something closer to the horizon, but if it is spoken about as a far-away event, well, it will be.

Help has arrived!  My book, The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone, is available on my website, tranquil babies, and as a clothbound hard copy when you contact me through the site.  Read The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Help Has Arrived! to learn why my innovative book design and detailed information on toilet training will help you make immediate progress, regardless of your child’s current abilities.