Tag Archives: motivating children for potty training

Afraid to Toilet Train? Prepare Your Child… and Prepare Yourself

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I spend an extra 30 minutes at the end of a session this week helping a mom build her courage and confidence so that she felt ready to start toilet training soon.  Her child is over 3, has sensory and motor issues, but shows tons of signs for readiness:  dry diapers for increasingly long periods, tells adults when he needs to “go”, able to manage clothing, etc.  He also has no confidence in his abilities, rarely likes change or challenge, and is super-sensitive to altering routines and using new environments.  This isn’t going to be seamless.

It isn’t clear who is the more prepared individual, but I think it could be the child.

This mom read my favorite marketplace book on training “Oh Crap”, and she needs to re-read it with an eye to the many ways in which her child fits the picture of a child that could NEVER be fully ready to train.  This species is so averse to novelty and challenge that no treat or toy is a great enough reward.  Nothing is more frightening to them than failure, and you simply cannot miss the diaper.  It is familiar, fail-proof, and allows children to never have to monitor their body signals or stop watching Paw Patrol to go to the potty.  Ever.

This child is likely to be experiencing the normal sensations of fullness and pressure (as the bladder and rectum fill) as uncomfortable and a little scary.  This interoceptive input can be one that children are sensitive to in the same way that the find seams on clothes or lying down for a diaper change unpleasant.  He requires a lot of support to tolerate and process tactile input and vestibular input, so it isn’t exactly surprising that he would find interoceptive sensation difficult to handle.  Adding a new routine for dealing with elimination, placing it in a room he rarely uses (the bathroom) and being old enough to know that he could “fail” and old enough to absorb outside comments about being “dirty” is more than enough to make this harder than it should be.

My suggestions to this mom included:

  • Adding more vocabulary to her discussions about toilet training.  Speaking about the feelings of pressure and fullness, the actions of pushing the poop out gently, and cleaning/wiping with clear messaging that this is a learning experience that nobody does perfectly.  Hearing that his parents had “accidents” when they were little, and that every child will have accidents, well, this could really help both of them.
  • Dressing him lightly, or choosing to go naked or just underpants (I like two layers of training pants if they still fit his tiny heine!) so that there are fewer barriers to making it to the potty means she may need to shop for training garments.
  • Planning the environment if she is going to let him go naked.  All living events except sleeping need to happen in places where accidents can be cleaned up easily.  She isn’t averse to staining the carpet, but I assured her that her child knows not to spill things on that carpet.  He is too old not to interpret soiling it as a failure.  When she runs to clean it up, he will feel badly.  If she doesn’t have to rush and shows no stress, he will relax about the almost inevitable accident.  He NEEDS  the confidence to move forward.
  • Consider more media about toileting and the arc of learning.  Most children don’t like to talk about things that distress them.  But they LOVE to read about others who are going through the same things.  I suggested that she weave in some new books about characters who are learning to use the toilet, and add comments about their feelings as they learn.  This would include how excited and proud the character is.  Proud can be a new word in his vocabulary!

 

Training a child that has low tone?  I wrote an e-book for you!

The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone is filled with preparation ideas, strategies to address the common issues of sensory processing limitations and the behavioral effects of low tone, and even includes a guide to building readiness instead of waiting for it to arrive!  You can find it on my website Tranquil Babies,  on Amazon  , and on a terrific site for occupational therapy materials, Your Therapy Source

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Piddlers Make Potty Training Fun!

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Your son will eagerly run for potty time!

I laughed out loud the first time I saw a toddler pee onto one of these circles.  Then he asked for more juice so that he could come back later and try again!

Piddlers aren’t a new concept.  Parents have been tossing cereal circles into a potty for “aiming practice” for a long time.  These commercially-made circles are just easier to aim for, dissolve more, and clean up easily.  Cereal has a funny way of bouncing around in the toilet, making it more frustrating, not as successful and not as much fun.

Getting children motivated to use the toilet can be a big headache.  For every totally cooperative toddler, there are 5 more that are defiant or simply uninterested.  They just won’t “go”.  Piddlers may not be a total answer, but they can get your son over these barriers to skill development.  Once a child is successful and has a routine, things are so much better!

Little boys have to control their aim if they are going to urinate standing up.  This is a totally new concept for them, and a skill.  Yes, a skill.  Since they have been using a diaper for elimination from the day they came home from the hospital, toilet training is a completely foreign concept, from beginning to end.  It’s a little bit funny: mostly the mommies are in control of toilet training, but only brothers, cousins and daddies can demo this particular skill.   Read Low Tone and Toilet Training: Kids Need To See How It’s Done to understand why a live performance can jump-start your child’s comprehension of toilet use.

Piddlers are made of starch and food coloring, and won’t turn anything blue or orange.  You may not even need the whole package!  Once a child has success and has developed a routine, explain that you need to go to the store later to buy more (not really), but he can use the potty right now anyway without one or two Piddlers in the potty.  Eventually you won’t need Piddlers any more, but you will have a little boy that is paying attention to what he is doing in the bathroom!

Great News!  My book, The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone, is now available as an e-book on my website, tranquil babies .  Just click the “e-book” section on the top ribbon to get your copy.  

Don’t think your child is ready for toilet training?  You need this book more than the parents of kids that are struggling with training!  Knowing how to prepare your child and yourself before you start training can make all the difference.  My book will explain in detail what you need to know and how you can start developing potty skills…today!