Tag Archives: happiest baby on the block

Why Parents Used The Fisher-Price Rock and Play Sleeper: Desperation and Confusion

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As a Happiest Baby on the Block (HBOTB) educator, I was thrilled to hear about the product’s recall, and horrified at the number of deaths attributed to this device.  The media spent a lot of time pointing out that the company’s marketing included clear messaging that suggested that children could sleep in it, in defiance of the national pediatrician’s association’s recommendations that children sleep on a flat surface without padding or bedding until they are old enough to move to prevent suffocation.

Many of the stories online made it sound like the company must be out of their mind, or the parents must be idiots.  I don’t think that either thing is true.   I think I know why well-meaning parents listened to the printing on the box and not the hurried message/tri-fold handout from their child’s doctor:  they simply want some sleep.  They see how calm their child is in this device, and don’t know what else to do to get some peace and quiet.  Fisher-Price knew what I know; parents can be desperate and want a convenient solution to their struggles.  Their packaging mentioned both the warning and showed sleeping children in the device.

Babies are amazing, but babies don’t sleep through the night right away.  They often don'[t sleep through the night in the first 6 months.  That is a long time for parents to deal with their own chronic sleeplessness.  Many families are dual-earners, and many parents today are over 30.  Losing a night’s sleep at 23 and losing a night’s sleep at 39 are completely different.  One makes you sluggish.  The other makes you feel like you were hit by a truck.  Have that happen to you for a week, and you cannot handle screaming or exhaustion very well.  Really.  Do that for 6 months, and you might agree to almost anything anyone suggests to get a little more sleep.  When your child is so peaceful in that carrier or infant positioner, you may not want to risk waking them.  Do it anyway.  And learn how to get them back to sleep more easily.

One reason why I became a HBOTB educator was my sympathy for the parents I worked with as an occupational therapist.  These are kind people, intelligent people, but people who were not given great strategies by their pediatricians.  They were told what to do, but not HOW to do it.  Pediatricians aren’t given the time to walk parents through good techniques, even if they know them.  And a lot don’t know how to calm babies.  They know how to cure babies.  Dr. Karp’s techniques tell parents  how.

Since the arrival of the SNOO, things have become a bit simpler.  The need for education hasn’t ended, because unless you intend to spend the first 12 weeks at home each and every day, parents need to know how to calm their babies without a device.  Read Why You Still Need the 5S’s, Even If You Bought a SNOO   if you would like to know more about how HBOTB will save your sanity during the day.

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New Baby? Exhausted? Try Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s To Pull Things Together

 

 

annie-spratt-178364New parents are often shocked at how tired they are.  After all, newborns don’t DO much.  They eat, sleep, pee and poop, and that is about it.  But they do it around the clock and they aren’t very experienced with any of it.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s can help all of you learn more and get some sleep.

Not because the 5 s’s give babies exactly what they had in the womb.  They do, but what swaddling, swinging, sucking, etc provide is a roadmap for how baby nervous systems work.  Once you know that babies need this, not that, you feel more in control of the situation and you can relax.  And babies that have been calmed down faster and more effectively feel that you get them, you really get them.  They sense that their parents can help them better than their aunties and neighbors.  Feeing understood starts here.

 

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When babies stop crying faster sleep an hour or so longer (yes, doing the 5 S’s can do that!) and eat/nurse more easily, life is less exhausting.  Not completely a day at the beach, but not as tough as it was before.  For more information, take a look at Help Your Newborn Adjust to Daycare By Using Happiest Baby on the Block Strategies and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.

Wishing all you new parents a wonderful first year!!!

Why You Still Need the 5S’s, Even If You Bought a SNOO

 

 

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Want peace?  Of course you do!

OK, I won’t make you wait to get the answer to this question:  your newborn won’t spend all day, every day, in the SNOO!  Don’t know what the SNOO is?  The SNOO smart sleeper was designed by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp as a bassinet that uses many of his fabulous Happiest Baby on the Block techniques to soothe your newborn for sleep.  It effectively quiets and calms newborns with the touch of a button (almost).

After seeing what the SNOO can do, you may WANT to leave her there all day, peacefully dozing away.  That isn’t a reality for most parents.  After the first few weeks, and sometimes earlier than that, you will want or need to take your little bundle out of the SNOO and out of your home.  You may visit your parents, go shopping, go to the park with older children, etc.  Uh-oh!  The SNOO can’t come with you!  Oh, and by the way, leaving your little one in any device with her head against a surface for too many hours of the day places her at risk for “positional plagiocephaly”.  Yes, giving your child a flattened skull.  The same cranial bones that are malleable enough to slide through the birth canal can be deformed by letting a child lie in one position too long.  So no, you cannot leaver her in the SNOO all day long!

We know that the agitated screaming that is called colic starts on average at 2 weeks after the due date, and peaks around 6-7 weeks of age.  For the great majority of babies, serious digestive problems and other medical issues aren’t the reason for all that crying.  Babies are often just too little to be able to handle the complexity of post-uterine life in those first few months.  Combine individual temperament, limited brain development, and the big shift to the external world’s demands, and their tiny nervous systems get overwhelmed and they end up screaming.  Loudly, and often for a long, long time.  Parents get exhausted and discouraged.  The SNOO does provide the neuro-developmental needs these tiny babies have so they can calm down.    But asking the SNOO to solve your baby’s problems all day long is going to mean that you will have to be tethered to it for months!

Thank goodness you don’t have to!  Before he developed the SNOO, Dr. Karp created the 5 S’s  New Baby? Exhausted? Try The 5 S’s To Pull Things Together.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s are what will save your sanity when you pop him out of the SNOO and take your show on the road.  Knowing how to swaddle, shush, swing, use sucking and the side/stomach positioning (for calming, not sleep) will make your whole day better and more flexible.  I teach the Happiest Baby concepts in classes and in individual consultations, and I think that every parent should learn the 5S’s and buy the SNOO.

If the SNOO’s steep price tag has you hesitating, then you definitely need to learn the 5 S’s.  Get the video or go to a class.  But don’t think that you are a bad parent or that your baby is in trouble because of all that crying.  Most newborns are just fine; they just need your help to pull themselves together until they are old enough and skilled enough to do it themselves.  Learn to give your baby what she needs, and you all can sleep a little bit better this week!

 

Looking for more information on the 5 S’s and helping your baby calm down for sleep and feeding?

You can call me for help!  Visit my website Tranquil Babies  and purchase a consultation session to ask your questions and review all the baby calming techniques in detail!  A consultation session is a great baby shower gift; it is like “phone-a-friend” on a game show, except the game show is YOUR LIFE!

Take a look at Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.  As a nationally certified Happiest Baby educator, I love to help parents learn what their little one needs to settle down and make that “fourth trimester” transition!

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Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness

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Newborn crying can make you feel like you are on a ferris wheel; around and around you go!

Swaddling is a skill, but it is also an art.  Once you have your little one snug as a bean burrito, they don’t always stop crying right away.  When I teach parents the 5 S’s as part of a Happiest Baby on the Block consultation or class, I try very hard to explain that most children need more layers of love.  Parents aren’t doing it wrong if they keep crying, and babies aren’t resisting the swaddle.  They just need more support because they have little brains and few experiences in this world.  Once you figure out what combo of moves your child needs, you have success!

Once you have done a good-enough swaddle, use the side or stomach-down calming move right away.  As a pediatric occupational therapist, this is my favorite, since it is using the neurology of the vestibular (balance) system to help your child chill out.  Really.  They aren’t thinking  “Gee, I love the view in this direction”, or ” I am much calmer looking at the floor”.  Their brain is getting some calming signals from their inner ear, diminishing that arching from the Startle Reflex and helping them pull together.  Try both positions, and make little adjustments in the exact tilt.  Everyone’s brain is a little different, so your child might need side-plus-slightly face-down to hit that calm point.

Think of it like this:  when you sleep, why do you think people curl up on their sides?  Because the bed is too short?  It is relaxing, naturally relaxing, to many people.  No one told them to sleep that way, they just do.  The number of back sleepers is far fewer, yet pediatricians insist on back sleep for safety and give you no idea how to convince your child to chill in this position.  That seems unfair, but then, many pediatricians aren’t baby care experts, they are baby health experts.  We just want them to be.

Now you can do all the gentle swinging, shushing and sucking layers you learned in Happiest Baby.  They all work well, and you will quickly learn which one is the most powerful for your unique little baby.  As your child grows, the layers aren’t as needed as much, but you may find that one of them really makes a difference.  Often it is the white noise of shushing.  Now you know why.  It’s their neurological sleep signal.

Sweet dreams, and remember to layer it on!

Why Doesn’t Swaddling Alone Calm Newborns?

I attended a local function last night, and this question was on my mind as parents recounted their experiences with newborns and calming.  They thought that they were doing the swaddling wrong.  Or that their child was abnormal.  Not likely.  They just didn’t realize that for most babies, swaddling alone doesn’t do the deal.

As a certified Happiest Baby educator, I am aware that there are a small percentage of babies that are so mellow that they might not even need a swaddle.  These newborns just eat, poop, pee and sleep.  Anywhere, any time.  Having such a baby feels like winning the lottery.  It is, and it is almost as rare.  Dr. Karp estimates the percentage of “easy” babies as somewhere between 5 and 15%.  Enjoy it, but do not think that baby #2 will be the same.  It isn’t inherited, or your divine guidance, or that your husband is a gem.  You got lucky.

Most babies are in between as far as temperament and fussiness, and need at least some of the 5 S’s.  Swinging, sucking, side/stomach positioning (to calm only), shush-ing, and the swaddle.  They are only occasionally fussy, and it is clear to you what they need after you know the Happiest Baby moves.

And then there are the babies that he classifies as “spirited”.  You know if you have one of these.  Peals of joy, but also screams that could make the sheetrock fall off the walls.  If they are hungry, you’d think they were being starved.  If they are tired, they are hysterical.  If you don’t pick them up in time, they make it clear that you will rue the day you do that again.  They are not possessed, they are expressing a combo of lack of self-calming skills, a really immature brain, and a fiery temperament.  You need to do all the moves of Happiest Baby, and do them right.  I can help.  Read more of my posts, get Dr. Karp’s DVD, and practice the moves until you could teach my classes.

So, swaddling does work, it just isn’t the end of the story for most babies.  If you have a baby for whom swaddling isn’t enough, don’t give up.  Take a class, get a consultation from me or another educator, and don’t worry that a screaming newborn means a lifetime of this rollercoaster!

Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled

Yes, I said it.  Some babies scream louder after you swaddle them, and parents assume that this means that they are horrified of being restricted.  This is usually far from the truth, but you have to know a little bit about newborn neurology to understand why this is likely not to be a case of protesting imprisonment and more a request for more layers of calming.

For 9 months, a newborn has been living in a tighter and tighter space.  Baby bumps get bigger, but the uterus can only expand so far.  At the end of pregnancy, babies are a snug fit.  Really snug.  They aren’t uncomfortable, and in fact, swaddling is replicating the whole-body firm hug that they know so well.  It is diminishing the shock of the Moro (startle) reflex that scares them and makes them cry more.  It keeps them at a consistent temperature, just like the womb.

So why do some of them scream more right after you swaddle them?  Well, some babies are sensitive little souls, the kind that cry with new noises, too much talking, or even when their digestion “toots” a little or they get very hungry.  They can go straight from happy to upset after too much activity, too much socializing, or too much interaction.  By the end of the day, they are at the end of their ability to handle life.  This can be partly temperament, their unique way of interacting with the world.  It can also be that their nervous system is still very immature, and they are taking a while to develop self-calming.  That is not a medical problem.  Every baby is new at this life-after-womb thing.  Some babies just need a little more time living like they did for 9 months, cozy and comforted.

These babies need swaddling more than some others, but they find anything new to be a challenge.  Give them a chance to get used to it, and make sure that you are doing a good swaddle.  Check how toasty they are, by making sure that they are not sweating behind their neck or ears (if so, lighten up on layers and swaddle in light cotton).  They probably also need more than swaddling to pull it together.  If you haven’t read Happiest Baby on the Block or seen the DVD, you might not be aware that swaddling alone is not going to finish the job for sensitive kids.  Sucking, shushing, side or stomach positioning (for calming only) and swinging may all be needed to calm these babies down.

So for all those parents who think that their baby is the one that hates swaddling, I encourage you to make sure that your technique is solid, your blanket or swaddle garment fits correctly, and that you layer on the love moves with more than a swaddle to calm your little one!

 

First Father’s Day? You Might Be the Best Baby Calmer In The House

Fathers are often the partners that jump right into practicing the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques.  They “shush” loud and long, they do the quick jiggle (for swinging) with enthusiasm, and they can usually use just one arm to support a newborn on it’s side to calm them.  Moms are in awe of their guy who couldn’t stand to change a diaper and was too nervous to even hold that baby a few weeks ago.  Go, Daddy!

Women do not have the corner on the comforting market.  Yes, they can nurse a baby to calm them, but not every fussy baby is a hungry baby.  Men can be a warm, yet rock-solid, source of physical comfort for children.  The Happiest Baby techniques seem more intense than a standard soft cuddle.  It’s because they are more intense.  Not dangerous in any way, but designed to give newborns a replication of the more sensory-rich womb experience .  Dr. Karp’s awareness of temperament and early development refine that basic concept to give newborns what they need to pull it together, get calm, and get some sleep.  Giving them more touch, more movement and more loud and steady white-noise sounds all together is the key.  The fact is that learning these techniques are new to moms as well helps a father not be intimidated by the “natural” knowledge of women.  The truth is that no one is born knowing what to do, and you can’t google it either.  The parents I teach are pretty much on a level playing field for this stuff.  And the men sometimes amaze me with their new skills.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who have stepped up their game, and mastered the easy way to calm their newborns!

 

Out Of The Swaddle And Into The Frying Pan

Those first 2 weeks of life are pretty simple:  feed, sleep, diaper.  Lather, rinse and repeat.  From about 2 weeks until 12-14 weeks, the Happiest Baby strategies for getting a baby calm and sleeping soundly really do work to keep newborns (and parents) happy.  I am a certified Happiest Baby educator, and it is relatively easy to decode the common complaints of newborns in those first weeks and months.  In fact, using The Happiest Baby techniques can make it easier to see true medical problems that fussiness and intractable crying were masking.  This is one of the best reasons to learn these techniques if you or your partner are not pediatric clinicians.  And maybe even if you are.

After that period, the swaddle is replaced by a sleep garment, side and stomach positioning to calm doesn’t have much of an effect, and the swing is put away in the garage.   Using white noise can continue, and so can the pacifier.  If so, then why is this period a minefield for accidental parenting?  Because changes in behavior that are just normal development aren’t anticipated and interpreted.  All you fans of the 5 S’s of Happiest Baby on the Block, here is what is coming down the line:  big changes that you need to anticipate and manage in a forward-thinking manner.  It won’t be so simple at 4 months.  Don’t be nervous; keep your eyes open and read the rest of this post!

I am a big fan of The Baby Whisperer’s books, with her strategies for a flexible but firm routine in the first year.  Tracy Hogg’s infant routines can seem a bit rigid to some parents, but if you asked a little one, they don’t find reasonable routines (not rigid ones) to be strict.  Routines help little people know what to expect and when to expect it.  Trust me, the younger you are, the more it helps to use routines to communicate.  Without the ability to speak, babies can’t tell us what is going on for them either.  Knowing that a child is behaving inconsistently is an important way to see a leap in development or an emerging illness.  How else would you know that refusing to nurse is because of an actual problem instead of being overtired?  Without a baseline of regular behavior at regular times, it is much harder to see inconsistent reactions that signal distress once babies are more complicated.  And at 4 months and up, things get more complicated.

Take a look at the Baby Whisperer’s  E.A.S.Y. plans for eating, activity, sleep, time for you at different stages.  Beware of what she calls “accidental parenting”.  Dr. Karp does a nice job talking about this trap as well in his great book The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep but I think that Tracy Hogg gives more helpful hints on schedules and real-life baby day scenarios.  Accidental parenting is like John Lennon’s famous line “Life is what happens when you are busy doing other things.” Accidental parenting happens when the solution to a heat-of-the moment problem results in habits that cause bigger problems.

A good example is a young infant that is fussy and falls asleep nursing, and after a few nights of this super-easy way to get him to sleep, now cannot fall asleep any other way.  Why is this a problem?  Because when mom is at the store, this child is exhausted and unable to nap.  He also cannot sleep in his crib or anywhere else but on his mom.  This is not a child who is experiencing the warmth of connection:  this is a child who is uncomfortable unless he has exactly one situation and one alone.  He has accidentally been taught that there is only one way to settle and sleep, by the very people that want him to feel safe and calm in his own body anywhere.   That is the problem with accidental parenting.  The actions taken were a short-term fix for a problem, not a real long-term plan for greater peace and flexibility.

Both the Baby Whisperer and Dr. Karp have similar solutions for you if you have done some accidental parenting at this young age.  Again, I am going to say that Tracy Hogg gives you more details about the solutions, but they both have good ideas. The most important things to remember about their solutions:

  1. Have confidence that your future vision of calmness and your newly-found knowledge from these experts will work.  The current atmosphere is to distrust “authorities” of all stripes, but there are people that know their way around these early months.  If you distrust everyone, you are left hoping that your guess is the right one.
  2. Learn to read your child’s cues correctly.  They both give you information that can counter there frantic sense that there is no rhyme or reason to all that fussiness.  You can only interpret these cues if you know a lot about normal development and pay attention to your child over time.
  3. Expect change, and learn what the next stage is.  Everyone changes, but babies change fast.  A 6 week-old and a 6 month-old can be so very different.  That is only a difference of a few months but it is an eternity in infant development.  Stay on your toes and anticipate this.  You are the receiver and that child is the quarterback.  Pay attention and get ready for new signals.  Sorry to confuse those of you who don’t follow American Football.  But I think you get the general idea.  Anticipate change.
  4. Don’t expect an easy fix, and don’t waiver in your commitment.  The older the child, and the stronger their temperament, the longer a habit created from accidental parenting takes to shift.
  5. Get support, and don’t try a strategy that you really resist.  Forcing a child is not what routines are about, and if you need to tweak a strategy, then do it.  If you are the parent that can’t handle even a little fussing, then switch off to your partner to help your child realize that his distress about switching from nursing to sleep to sleeping another way is habitual and can change.  Because it can.
  6. Notice when you are unrealistic about what babies can manage, or if you are so uncomfortable with any fussiness that you are qualify as a victim of Tracy Hogg’s “poor baby syndrome”, in which you feel so guilty about any crying for any reason at all that you lose your wider view of what a child needs.

Accidental parenting is nothing to be ashamed of.  This parenting thing is hard, very hard, and everyone is doing their best.  I really believe that.  Habits can change, and things can go forward successfully with a different approach!

The Informed Parent and Happiest Baby on the Block

I read The Informed Parent recently to decide whether it would be a good resource for my clients, and found that the chapters on The Art and Science of Baby Soothing, SIDS, and Sleep Training were worth reading.  This book distills a lot, a whole lot, of research that can confuse those parents who want some clarity in a sea of recommendations. The problem?  The authors, Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham, left me wanting for some good resources to offer parents once they have made their own conclusions about the available research.  They did do something wonderful for me as a Happiest Baby educator:  they included many, many research references to the 5 S’s that support the use of Dr. Karp’s techniques to calm newborns.  If you ever wondered whether swaddling is bad for your baby’s hips or whether pacifiers would help or hurt your chances of successful breastfeeding, the authors have some science-based answers for you.

As an example of what their book offers parents, the chapter on sleep training appeared to summarize all of the research findings by saying that bad sleepers aren’t necessarily disturbed or deficient.  The most helpful conclusion was that children whose parents were available to them emotionally during the bedtime period had fewer sleep disruptions. Parents might be feel less guilty but this won’t help anyone go to sleep.  If a parent is frustrated, tired, and distracted, and has an authoritarian approach to sleep: “Go to sleep NOW, because I said so!”, I believe that they are more likely to end up with a child that doesn’t want to go to sleep at bedtime, and screams for bottles or cuddles at 4 am.  But how exactly does this observation help anyone?  Perhaps there are parents that recognize themselves in that description and decide to change, but I suggest that most of us do not see ourselves as emotionally unavailable, even when we are.   My experience is that the parent-child pairs I have met who have an insecure-resistant mode of attachment (psych-speak for a child that desires parent contact but then reacts angrily or is resistant/fussy when given attention) are completely oblivious to how they contribute to their child’s behavior.   It is going to take more that a summary of scientific studies to have parents recognize the effect of their interactions on sleep problems.

I was disappointed that the authors included the “Purple crying” concept of Dr. Ronald Barr in their discussion of parents that shake a persistently crying infant.  Nothing in this  “approach” is scientific.  Telling parents that colicky crying is normal, but not offering more than “put the baby down and don’t shake him” is reprehensible when methods such as Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s  have actually helped so many families.  Of course shaking is never OK!  I really doubt that anyone that has had a screaming infant has ever felt that “knowing that crying is common and not abnormal” was very helpful.  What you want at that point to avoid doing something harmful is a solution, not a platitude.

Read The Informed Parent and let me know what was helpful and what just made you want some successful easy-to-use strategies for babies and toddlers!

To schedule a in-home training with me in the NYC metro area, or to buy a phone/video consult, visit my website and select the service that fits your needs.  

 

When to Stop Using the Infant Swing with Your Newborn

Weaning the swing can happen earlier than weaning swaddling.  Somewhere about 2.5 months old (adjust for prematurity if needed), many newborns no longer get more peaceful while swinging.  There will always be babies that prefer to be jiggled on your shoulder or in your lap from the beginning. There will also be babies a bit over 3 months old that only calm when snugly swaddled and swinging, firmly buckled in and fully reclined, of course.  If you are not talented in the blanket swaddling area, this is the time when you might want to try a swaddle garment.  It is unsafe to loosely swaddle a child when they are old enough to partially roll inside a swing.  If your child is so strong that he can undo a swaddle garment or a firm blanket swaddle, then swaddling in a swing is not for you.  You will just have to double-down on the shush/white noise, sucking and side/stomach calming.  I would also recommend the dream feed (my most popular blog post ever from January 2015) and be very careful not to put off naps until your child is over-tired.  More on that topic later this month.

When your baby is ready to wean swinging it may be as easy as shutting it off and putting him in the bassinet or a co-sleeper.  Wean a movement-loving baby by slowing the swing down for sleep for a few nights and then seeing if he can sleep in a non-moving swing.  If his sleep is still as long and as deep, then it could be time to put the swing on Craigslist or in the garage.

Don’t forget that the other S’s, especially shushing/white noise, may be even more important now for general calming and signaling bedtime.  This is not the time to dismantle your previously perfect newborn sleep routine.  Abandon all the signs and sounds that tell him things are quiet, safe and cozy at your own risk.  You may even add some more mature routines that can continue throughout childhood, like infant massage and story time.  Babies love to hear your rhythmic voice as you read “Goodnight Moon”.  I hope you like it too, since you will be reading it over and over…and over!

Move Your Baby Into a Shared Bedroom Using The Happiest Baby on the Block

One question I usually hear when teaching The Happiest Baby on the Block (THB) classes is “Can this help me when I want to move her into her sister’s room?”.  The answer is: absolutely!  Strategies that keep your newborn calm and sleeping more deeply will smooth the transition to shared bedrooms later on.

Most parents use either a co-sleeper or a bassinet for the first few months after birth. They can hear and see the baby more clearly, and the frequent feedings and diaper changes are less disruptive to everyone’s sleep.   Unless they use the “family bed” concept, they often plan to move their newborn to a separate room after 4 and 6 months.  I think every family should decide for themselves when and where they want their babies to sleep.  But if you want two children to share a room, you need to have a plan.  Twins can be a bit easier, but it is not a guarantee that they will have identical sleeping and feeding schedules.  When you have an older child already sleeping in a bedroom, moving your infant in with them is even more complicated.  Parents are generally worried about waking the infant when the toddler goes to bed later, or worried that the infant will wake for a feeding and then wake up the toddler.  They envision nights with one or the other crying, and nobody getting a decent night’s sleep.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  And it can be done without anyone crying.

My favorite saying about sleep issues in infants is that a good night’s sleep starts in the morning.  Using THB, you have strategies to calm your baby all day long, through naps and stressors like noise that other children make.  A baby that has spent the day being quickly calmed, had deep refreshing naps, and knows that their caregivers can calm them quickly is much easier to put to bed at night.  Parents who are no longer swaddling have asked me what they can use.  Well, swaddling isn’t the only THB technique.  In fact, it is only one of 5.  Parents can use sucking without risk of dental deformation or habitual dependence through month 6, and white noise is great for the whole first year.  Some children will use the adjustable swaddle garments to get the firm chest/abdomen swaddle input after they start rolling.

It helps if you use techniques like the dream feed to extend and deepen sleep at night (see my post on the magic of dream feeds).  THB techniques can be done by dads and nannies, so moms aren’t the only ones who have to get up at night.  Sometimes babies need to nurse, and sometimes they aren’t hungry but have a stuffy nose or need a diaper change.  Getting them back to sleep quickly is very important to preserve the concepts of day and night difference.  Recent research in the UK indicates that the circadian rhythm of naturally seeking sleep at night is developed in the second and third months of life, and is not entirely biological.  Their research suggests there is an interplay of brain development and the way babies are supported to sleep that promotes that circadian pattern.  It can be disrupted; ask any insomniac.  Give your baby the best chance at solid sleep patterns right from the start!

Babies that have grown accustomed to always nursing or bottle-feeding to get back to sleep, or expect to play a bit before going back to sleep are going to be the most difficult to blend into room sharing.   A baby that is quickly calmed by THB techniques at the earliest age is practically asleep by the time you put them down.  They can save the fun for the times when the sun is shining.  They are so sleepy when you use THB that they will not develop habits that work against getting their precious nighttime sleep, even in a shared room.

Why Would Your Daycare Refuse To Use Happiest Baby on the Block?

Recently I taught a mom to use the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques to calm her 11 week-old son.  He was soon a very easy baby to settle, and was sleeping very well.  When she tried to explain these new strategies to her high-quality daycare providers, she was brushed off.  They have “their ways of doing things”.  Why would any caregiver NOT want to hear what a parent has to offer?

Sadly, the oldest reason in the book.  It is new to them, and most people, even the most well-intentioned staff, resist anything new.  They can rationalize any other reason, but most of the time it boils down to the simple fact that changing how you understand newborn crying, and changing your response when a baby cries or fusses is hard.  Even when the parent is telling you what works.

Swaddle Products That Confuse Parents

Parents should not be faulted for being totally confused!

Parents should not be faulted for being totally confused!


I found this product at a local big-box store, and my first thought was ” Created by a dad; how terrific!” Then I thought a bit more. How would a parent know when to go sleeveless? Warm weather? Babies who still cry when fully swaddled? Most babies are still crying after you finish swaddling them, even though they calm down after some shushing and swinging. Without the use of the other infant calming techniques (the 5 S’s from The Happiest Baby on the Block) you have served an incomplete meal of comforting. But a new parent would be truly forgiven for thinking that their newborn didn’t like being swaddled with their arms in when they continue to cry.

Newborns are not seeking freedom; after 9 months in a studio apartment, they are most comforted in a smaller space. That is why being cuddled is so wonderful for them. Swaddling firmly prevents those arms from flailing when they are crying. With their arms free, parents will see more of the Moro (startle) reflex and will have to hold them more firmly to replicate that cozy touch that swaddling provides. When put down in a loose or partial swaddle, babies can start crying again. This appears to be a plea to be picked up again, but it is more likely that your baby wants to be firmly held, all the way up through their arms and shoulders.

When is the arms-out swaddle just right? After 3-4 months, babies often have more arm control and less frequent Moro reflex responses. They can sleep well without a full swaddle, and this product makes it easy to wean your baby from swaddling. But nothing in the exterior packaging explained that.

I am thrilled that there are good products out there for parents to choose from. But the most valuable ingredients, knowledge and experience, still seem to be the hardest items to find.

Can You Sleep Train a Newborn?

image courtesy of papaija2008/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

image courtesy of papaija2008/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sleep training is a hot topic with parents of older babies and toddlers. So many are struggling and bewildered. New parents either pray they will escape this fate or confidently assume they are the exception. It isn’t really the roulette wheel that it seems. Parents are often told that they cannot do much to develop good sleep habits until a child is 3-4 months old. Well, waiting until then may have already set your child up for trouble.

Both the Baby Whisperer series and Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block books describe routines that are loving and sensitive to a baby’s needs. They don’t take sides on the co-sleeping controversy. Both teach families how to read a baby’s cues and create early healthy habits that can survive teething, illness, and growth spurts.

A very young baby can anticipate and can benefit from a routine (not a rigid schedule) that starts in the morning and brings them to nighttime ready to rest and renew. My favorite newborn strategy is the “dream feed”. Waking your baby (yes, waking them up!) to have a filling feed not too long after that initial bedtime nursing or bottle tops them off for a longer period of sleep. A brain that is used to a cycle of naps during the day and a longer sleep at night is ready for the greater demands of the day (and night) at 3-4 months. The child who has no sense of day and night and wakes habitually at all hours is never refreshed. Never mind the state of his parents.

The other strategy that makes a huge difference to families is to understand that bedtime really starts in the morning. If your child’s schedule has been disrupted intentionally or unintentionally, it will make it very difficult to fall asleep. Not responding to those subtle sleep signs will sabotage a very good bedtime plan. If you want to develop good sleep routines,then time, tide and sleep wait for no baby.

Nap Nanny Death; A Preventable Tragedy

The infant recliner called the “Nap Nanny” had already been recalled, but another death was reported in NJ this weekend.  The story involves an 8-month old child who was belted in and trapped between the nap nanny recliner and a crib bumper, as per reports in USA Today and other news media.

 Infant recliners are popular and plentiful, but they are not foolproof. Sleepless parents will continue to buy these infant seats and use them in ways that are unsafe due to frustration and lack of awareness. No device is sold with bold warnings about the number of children that die in seats and carriers each year. No parent thinks it will be their child. Until it is.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has clear but poorly publicized warnings about avoiding keeping babies in infant carriers and seats for any extended periods of time. Families need sympathy for the stress they are experiencing, realistic expectations about baby sleep patterns, and specific instruction to avoid placing their babies at risk.
 
There is a two-part solution: position your a baby in a swaddle or in a sleep sack and nothing else in the crib. Learn to quickly soothe and calm your baby. As a Happiest Baby on the Block educator and pediatric occupational therapist, I teach the Happiest Baby protocol, which includes SIDS prevention and support for parents. Direct instruction with the opportunity to ask questions and practice techniques with an instructor can be invaluable.

Babies older than 4 months benefit from Dr. Harvey Karp’s suggestions for older children in “The Happiest Baby on the Block Guide to Great Sleep”.

The pain this family must be experiencing is unimaginable. My heart goes out to them tonight.