Tag Archives: autism

Does Your Special Needs Child Have a “Two-tude”? Its Not Just the Age; its the Circumstances

 

patrick-fore-557736I spend a lot of my work week with toddlers, and they can be a challenge.  One minute sunny, the next screaming because their cookie broke.  Special needs toddlers can have a “tude as well, but many professionals sweep it under the rug.  They tell parents that this is normal, and that they should be grateful that their child is going through a completely normal stage of development.

Except that many parents who have already raised typically-developing kids KNOW that there is a difference with this child.  It could be the intensity of the ‘tude, or the frequency of the meltdowns, or the types of events that trigger the tantrums.  OR ALL OF THEM!  Parents know that this doesn’t feel the same, but they often shut up when they are told that it is so normal.  Perhaps their eyes and ears and memory isn’t correct.

They aren’t wrong.  Their perception that something is a bit different can be totally correct.  And the reason(s) are quite obvious to me.

Special needs kids come in an almost endless combination of needs.  Some are physical, some are communication needs, and some are cognitive or social skill needs.  Some are all of these.  Having challenges in moving, speaking, comprehending language and/or concepts or struggling to interact will create more frustration for every single day of a child’s life.  That’s the reality of disability.

The image of the placid and sweet special needs child, patiently waiting to be assisted and supported is just that: an image.  Most kids bump into frustrating barriers every day.  The toddler that has just learned to walk but can’t run, the toddler that is talking or signing but still isn’t understood by their older brother, the toddler that cannot handle a change in routines…it goes on and on.

Typical toddlers spend less time frustrated that they are unable to accomplish simple skills.  The typical 14 month-old that can’t tell you what he wants becomes the 18-month old that can say “cakker, pease” for “cracker please”.  A special needs child could be 4 years old and still struggling to explain that he wants another cracker.  That is a long time to be frustrated.  The typical 26 month-old that can’t run after their brother in the backyard becomes a runner at 30 months.  A special needs child may not run for years.  That is a long time to be left in the dust when everyone is running.  Is there any wonder that parents see more frustration, more tears, more stubbornness?

My saddest story of failed inclusion is when a family placed their special needs child in a toddler development group with mobile kids.  Even though this child had a personal aide, he still watched as his peers got up from the snack table and ran outside.  They left him with the aide, who then carried him outside so he could WATCH his peers climb and run.  He became distraught at home when he was left alone in a room.  A puddle of tears.  It was so sad to see.  No one had thought of the emotional cost of inclusion to this toddler, only the social and academic benefits.

What can be done?

I teach families the Happiest Toddler on the Block strategies as soon as they are appropriate.  Dr. Karp’s techniques build a child’s skills while enhancing interpersonal connections.  Yes, sometimes you have to provide consequences for aggression, but mostly it is about building frustration tolerance and emotional intelligence.  For everyone.  I use these techniques all day long.  I could never handle so many toddlers for so many years without them!

Looking for more information on special needs toddlers?  Read Need to Support A Child’s Independence? Offer to Help Them! and Safety Awareness With Your Hypermobile Child? Its Not a Big Thing, Its the Biggest Thing.

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Halloween is Coming: For Children Who Get Spooked Easily, It’s No Celebration

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I wonder what the little girl with the sparkler is really thinking?

I love Halloween, but not everyone does.  Kids with sensory sensitivity top THAT list!  The strange transformation of their classrooms, homes and yards aren’t exciting; they are disorienting.  The masks and loose costumes?  Pure Hell.  But at least here in America, it often seems like it is almost unpatriotic to shun this holiday unless you have a religious objection.  What can you do?

I am re-blogging this post since I think it is worth another look: Have More Halloween Fun When Kids Don’t or Can’t Trick-Or-Treat , and because even if you DO take your child out for treats, the ideas could help them handle things more easily.

In this climate of diversity challenge, I sincerely hope that there is room for all of the people, young and old, who don’t really have fun with Halloween in it’s traditional forms.  I would like to think that holidays could be what you make them.

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Just because the squash on the left aren’t orange, that shouldn’t mean they aren’t great symbols of the season!

Not Making It To the Potty In Time? Three Reasons Why Special Needs Kids Have Accidents

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If your special needs child isn’t experiencing a medical reason for incontinence (infection, blockage, neurological impairment) then you might be facing one of these three common roadblocks to total training success:

  1. Your child has limited or incomplete interoceptive awareness.  What is interoception?  It is the ability to sense and interpret internal cues.  The distention of the bladder, the fullness of the colon, etc are all internal cues that should send them to the potty.  Unfortunately, just as poor proprioception can hinder a child’s ability to move smoothly, poor interception can result in potty accidents, among other things.  Working with them to become more aware of those feelings can include monitoring their intake and elimination routines.  You will know when they should have more sensory input, and can educate them about what that means.  Listen to how they describe internal feelings.  Kids don’t always know the right words, so use their words or give them a new vocabulary to help them communicate.
  2. Your child’s clothing is difficult to manage, or their dressing skills aren’t up to the task.  They run out of time before nature calls.  Tops that are hard to roll up, pants that have tricky fasteners, even fabrics that are hard to grasp and manipulate.  All of these can make it a few seconds too long once they get into the bathroom.  If you are not in there with them, you may have to ask them to do a “dry run” so you can see what is going on and what you can change to make undressing faster.  In my e-book, The Practical Guide To Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone, I teach parents the best ways to teach dressing skills and the easiest clothing choices for training and beyond.  If you have ever had to “go” while in a formal gown or a holiday costume, you know how clothing choices can make it a huge challenge to using the toilet!
  3. Your child is too far from the bathroom when they get the “urge”.  Children  with mobility problems or planning problems may not think that they are in trouble right away.  They might be able to get to the bathroom in time in their own home.  When they are out in public or at school, the distance they have to cover can be significant, and barriers such as stairs or elevators can be an issue.  Even kids playing outside in their own yards might not be able to come inside in time.  If you can’t alter where they are, teach them to use the potty before they go outside or when they are near the bathroom, instead of waiting.  Taking the time to empty a half-full bladder is better than an accident.

Looking for more information on toilet training?  Read How To Teach Your Child To Wipe “Back There” and Low Tone and Toilet Training: Learning to Hold It In Long Enough to Make It to The Potty.  and of course, my e-book is available for more extensive assistance The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

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Teaching Safety Awareness To Special Needs Toddlers

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Parents anxiously wait for their special needs infants to sit up, crawl and walk.  That last skill can take extra months or years.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, uses walking as a benchmark for maturity and independence.

They shouldn’t.  A child with poor safety awareness isn’t safer when they acquire mobility skills.  Sometimes they are much less safe.  Yes, they may be able to move without your help, but they may need to be more highly monitored and given more assistance to learn how to be safe.  They are exploring their environment and their new skills that took them a long time to develop.  They have been wanting to climb on the couch for months.  Now they can.  Getting down the “safe” way isn’t as important to them, and maybe not as easy as sliding or rolling off.  Oops.

What can parents do to help their child be a safer (notice I didn’t say “safe”) ambulator, crawler, cruiser, etc?  

  1. Talk about safety before they are independent.  Will they understand what it means?  Probably not, but your tone and your insistence on how movement is done says that you value safety and you want them to do the same.  Kids learn from all of our actions.  Make this one familiar to them by being very obvious and explicit.
  2. Take your physical therapist seriously when she or he teaches you how to work on core strength and balance skills.  Yes, I still maintain that safety is more than a sensory-motor skill, but having the best possible sensory and motor skills is important.  Having good safety awareness and safety behaviors without these skills will make a child more vulnerable to falls and injuries.
  3. The same goes for sensory processing activities.  If your child cannot perceive the movement of falling, the tactile and proprioceptive change as they crawl or step on something, or tolerate multiple sensory inputs at once, they are much less safe, even with good strength and coordination.  Really.
  4. Know your child’s cognitive and social/emotional skills.  Impulsive children are less safe overall.  Children that cannot process your instructions or recall them without you are less safe.  Children that enjoy defying you more than they want to avoid falling are less safe.  If you know any of these things, you can gauge safety and react more appropriately.  You will be less frustrated and more helpful to them.
  5. Reward safe execution and do not reward unsafe behavior.   My favorite way to avoid punishment but also to send my safety message home?  Not providing eye contact or much at all in the way of conversation as I stop unsafe actions, and either removing a child from an unsafe situation or assisting them in using the safe method to execute their move.  They get no satisfaction from seeing me react strongly, and they get the message that I am not accepting anything but their best safety skills as they move.
  6. Stop a child that is moving in an unsafe way, and see if they can recall and initiate the safe choice before assisting.  You don’t want to teach them that only you will make them safe and they need someone to be safe out there. They have to learn how to assess, react and respond, and all children can build their skills.  Some need more teaching, and some need more motivation to begin to take responsibility for their safety.  Give them both.

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Why Pediatric Occupational Therapists Need The Happiest Toddler Techniques: Neurobiological Regulation

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Pediatric occupational therapists are usually all-in when it comes to using physical methods to help children achieve affective modulation.  We use the Wilbarger Protocol, Astronaut Training, Therapeutic Listening, and more.  But are we using Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block techniques?  Not so much.  All that talking seems like something a teacher or psychologist should do.  Folks, it’s time to climb off that platform swing and look at all of the ways children develop state regulation.  Early development is the time when children experience attunement with caregivers and create secure attachment.  But this is a learning process that grows over time and can be damaged by events and by brain-based issues such as ASD.  The Happiest Toddler on the Block techniques aren’t billed as such, but they are the best methods to create attunement and attachment while teaching self-regulation skills that I have found.  Combined with sensory-based treatment, progress can be amazing!

Research has told us that the way we interact with children and the way they feel has direct effects on neurotransmitters and the development of autonomic reactivity.  If you don’t believe me, check out Stephen Porges’ work on the ventral vagal component of the autonomic nervous system.

When we use The Fast Food Rule, Toddler-Ese and Patience Stretching ( Use The Fast Food Rule to Help ASD Toddlers Handle Change and Stretch Your Toddler’s Patience, Starting Today! ) to get a child focused, calm, listening, and recognizing that we “get them” even if we don’t agree with their toddler demands, we shift more than behavior.  We shift their neurophysiological responses that can become learned pathways of responding to stressors of all kinds.  We are using our social interactions to create neurobiological regulation.  I believe that the use of Happiest Toddler techniques can make a significant neurophysical change in a young child even before we put them on a swing.  I am going to go out (further) on a limb and say that if our interactions aren’t informed by understanding attunement and engagement, our sensory-based treatment might be seriously impaired.

Long story short:  if you aren’t using effective methods of developing social-emotional attunement and engagement with young children, your treatment isn’t taking advantage of what we now know about how all children learn self-regulation.  And if the child you treat has ASD, SPD, trauma from medical treatment, etc…..you know how important it is to use every method available to build the brain’s ability to respond and self-regulate.

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The Cube Chair: Your Special Needs Toddler’s New Favorite Seat!

 

Finding a good chair for your special needs toddler isn’t easy.  Those cute table-and-chair sets from IKEA and Pottery Barn are made for older kids.  Sometimes much older, like the size of kids in kindergarten.  Even a larger child with motor or sensory issues will often fall right off those standard chairs!

Should you use a low bench?  I am a big fan of the Baby Bjorn footstool for bench sitting in therapy, but without a back, many toddlers don’t last very long without an adult to sit with them.  Independent sitting and playing is important to develop motor and cognitive skills.   The cute little toddler armchairs that you can get with their name embroidered on the backrest look great, but kids with sensory or motor issues end up in all sorts of awkward positions in them.  Those chairs aren’t a good choice for any hypermobile child or children with spasticity.

Enter the cube chair.  It has so many great features, I thought I would list them for you:

  • Made of plastic, it is relatively lightweight and easy to clean.  While not non-slip, there is a slight texture on the surface that helps objects grip a little.  Add some dycem or another non-slip surface, and you are all set.
  • Cube chairs can be a safe choice for “clumsy” kids. Kids fall. It happens to all of them.  The design makes it very stable, so it is harder to tip over. The rounded edges are safer than the sharp wooden corners on standard activity tables.
  • It isn’t very expensive.  Easily found on special needs sites, it is affordable and durable.
  • A cube chair is also a TABLE! That’s right; turn it over, and it is a square table that doesn’t tip over easily when your toddler leans on it.
  • Get two:  now you have a chair and table set!  Or use them as a larger table or a surface for your child to cruise around to practice walking.  That texture will help them maintain their grip.  The chairs can stack for storage, but you really will be using them all the time.
  • It has two seat heights.  When your child is younger, use the lower seat with a higher back and sides for support and safety.   When your child gets taller, use the other side for a slightly higher seat with less back support.
  • The cube chair is quite stable for kids that need to hold onto armrests to get in and out of a chair.  The truly therapeutic chairs, such as the Rifton line, are the ultimate in stability, but they are very expensive, very heavy, and made of solid wood.

Who doesn’t do well with these chairs?  Children who use cube chairs have to be able to sit without assistance and actively use their hip and thigh muscles to stabilize their feet on the floor.  Kids with such significant trunk instability that they need a pelvic “seatbelt” and/or lateral supports won’t do well with this chair.  A cube chair isn’t going to give them enough postural support. If you aren’t sure if your child has these skills, ask your occupational or physical therapist.  They could save you money and time by giving you more specific seating recommendations for your child.

Your child may be too small or too large for a cube chair.  Kids who were born prematurely often remain smaller and shorter for the first years, and a child needs to be at least 28-30 inches tall (71-76 cm) to sit well in a cube chair without padding.

You may add a firm foam wedge to activate trunk muscles if they can use one and still maintain their posture in this chair, or use the Stokke-style chair (A Simple Strategy To Improve Your Child’s Posture In A Stokke Tripp Trapp or Special Tomato Chair ) or the Rifton chair until your child has developed enough control to take advantage of a cube chair.  If your child sits on the floor but uses a “W-sitting” pattern, learn about alternatives in Three Ways To Reduce W-Sitting (And Why It Matters) .

Looking for more information on positioning and play?  Check out Kids With Low Muscle Tone: The Hidden Problems With Strollers,  Hypermobility and Proprioception: Why Loose Joints Create Sensory Processing Problems for Children and How To Pick The Best Potty Seat For Toilet Training A Child With Low Tone.  I am in the process of writing a series of practical guides for parents of children with hypermobility, so keep checking back on my site for the launch this summer!!

OXO for Kids: Great Tableware For Older Kids With Sensory and Motor Issues

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Does your child knock over her milk on a daily basis?  Do utensils seem to fly out of your son’s hands?  I treat kids with hypermobility, coordination and praxis issues, sensory discrimination limitations, etc.; they can all benefit from this terrific line of cups, dinnerware and utensils.

Yes, OXO, the same people that sell you measuring cups and mixing bowls: they have a line of children’s products.  Their baby and toddler items are great, but no 9 year-old wants to eat out of a “baby plate”.

OXO’s items for older kids don’t look or feel infantile.   The simple lines hide the great features that make them so useful to children with challenges:

  1. The plates and bowls have non-slip bases.  Those little nudges that have other dinnerware flipping over aren’t going to tip these items over so easily.
  2. The cups have a colorful grippy band that helps little hands hold on, and the strong visual cue helps kids place their hands in the right spot for maximal control.
  3. The utensils have a larger handle to provide more tactile, proprioceptive and kinesthetic input while eating.  Don’t know what that is?  Don’t worry!  It means that your child gets more multi-sensory information about what is in her hand so that it stays in her hand.
  4. The dinnerware and the cups can handle being dropped, but they have a bit more weight (thus more sensory feedback) than a paper plate/cup or thin plastic novelty items.
  5. There is nothing about this line that screams “adaptive equipment”.  Older kids are often very sensitive to being labeled as different, but they may need the benefits of good universal design.  Here it is!
  6. All of them are dishwasher-safe.  If you have a child with special needs, you really don’t want to be hand-washing dinnerware if you don’t have to.

For more information about mealtime strategies, please take a look at Which Spoon Is Best To Teach Grown-Up Grasp? and Teach Spoon Grip By Making It Fun And Sharing a Laugh With Your Child.

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