Category Archives: self-care skills

Should You Install a Child-Sized Potty for Your Special Needs Child?

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Affordable accessibility and no institutional appearance!

I know that some of you don’t even realize that such a thing exists:  a toilet sized for preschoolers and kindergarteners!  Well, you won’t find it in Lowe’s or Home Depot on the showroom floor, but you can buy them online, and it is an option to consider.  Here are the reasons you might put one in your child’s main bathroom:

  1. You have the space already.  Some homes are large enough to allow each bedroom to have its own bathroom.   If you have the option, it might be worth it during renovations.  It shouldn’t add considerably to the overall cost, and it should not be that difficult to swap out when your child grows.  If you have a bathroom near the playroom, that might be another good location for this potty.  Most older kids and adults can make it to another half-bath on that floor, but it might be perfect for your younger child and his friends!
  2. Your child is terrified of the standard-height potty.  Some kids are unstable, some are afraid of heights, and some have such poor proprioception and/or visual skills that they really, really need their feet on the ground, not on a footstool.
  3. Your child was a preemie, and their growth pattern indicates that they will fit on this toilet comfortably for a while.  Some preemies catch up, and some stay on the petite size.  Those children will be able to use a preschool-right potty into early elementary school.  Even if your preemie is average in size, they may have issues such as vision or sensory sensitivity that will make this potty a great idea for a shorter time.

I am just beginning to build my materials to do in-home consultations as a CAPS, but I think that an underserved population are parents of special needs kids that would benefit from universal design and adaptive design.  This toilet would come under the category of adaptive design, and it is an easily affordable solution for some children.  Having more comfort on the toilet speeds up training for many kids.  It also decreases the aggravation of training and monitoring safety for parents.  I am very committed to helping the entire family have an easier time of things like toilet training.

Think about what your family’s needs and capabilities are, and if you are planning to remodel or build a new home, consider finding a CAPS professional in your area to help you make your home as welcoming for your special needs child as possible!

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How Being Toilet Trained Changes Your Child’s Life

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Think your child doesn’t care that he is wearing pull-ups in pre-K?  Well, he might not…yet.  After all, he doesn’t know another life.  He has been using a diaper (because we know that pull-ups aren’t anything other than a diaper, right?) for elimination since his first day of life.  Wait until he is trained, and you may see the difference that being trained will make for him.

Children who have accomplished toilet training have made a significant step forward in independence.  They are the masters of their domain, to borrow from Seinfeld.  Not needing help for something so personal, they have a different attitude about body ownership and privacy.  This is important and personally meaningful.  We want children to have pride in their bodies and a sense that they own them.  Even though you would never harm your child, when you are involved in their “business”, you are taking some of that pure ownership away.  The sooner they have a sense that they can manage alone, or with only a bit of help for the hard bits, they build their sense of self.

When kids master a major life skill, they often are more willing to take on other skills such as writing and dressing.  They are interested in holding their spoon and fork the “grown-up” way.  They have entered the world of the older child, in their minds.  And adults aren’t immune.  We see potty trained kids differently too.  When they are able to take care of themselves in the bathroom, we start raising our expectations for them as well, and treat them as older children, not babies.  And they react to our change in perception as well.  Toilet training can lift everyone up!

The practical realities of life mean that being trained allows them to go to activities and even schools that they wouldn’t be able to attend.  Pools and camps have rules, and being fully engaged with their community means being out there and participating as much as possible.

A mom told me yesterday that her 5 year-old told her “I am so happy that I can use the potty!”  It took him a long time to get all the skills together to be fully trained, and he is off on a family cruise next week.  This will be the first time he can attend cruise camp with his older brother.  He has arrived!

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The Not-So-Secret Solution for Your Child With Motor And Sensory Issues: Dycem

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In adult rehab, occupational therapists are regularly providing patients who have incoordination, muscle weakness or joint instability with both skill-building activities and adaptive equipment such as Dycem.  In pediatrics, you see a predominance of skills training.  Adaptive equipment shows up primarily for the most globally and pervasively disabled children.  I think that should change. Why?  Because frustration is an impediment to learning, and adaptive equipment can be like training wheels; you can take them off as skills develop.  When kids aren’t constantly frustrated, they are excited to try harder and feel supported by adults, not aggravated.

 

What Dycem Can Do For Your Child

Dycem isn’t a new product, but you hardly ever see it suggested to kids with mild to moderate motor incoordination, low tone, hypermobility and dyspraxia.  We let these kids struggle as their cereal bowl spills and their crayons roll away from them.  Dycem matting is a great tool for these kids.  It is grippy on both sides, but it is easy to clean.  Place a terrific bowl or plate on it OXO for Kids: Great Tableware For Older Kids With Sensory and Motor Issues, and it won’t tip over with gentle pressure, and even if the surface has a slight incline.  It lasts a long time, and can be cut into any shape needed for a booster seat tray or under the base of a toy like a dollhouse or a toy garage.  The bright color contrasts with most objects, supporting kids with visual deficits and poor visual perceptual skills.  It catches their eye and their attention.

How To Use Dycem To Build Motor Skills

Will it prevent all spills or falls?  No.  But it will decrease the constant failures that cause children to give up and request your help, or cause them to refuse to continue trying.  Children are creating their self-image earlier than you realize, so helping them see themselves as competent is essential.  Will it teach kids not to use their non-dominant hand to stabilize objects?  Not if an adult uses it correctly.  Introducing Dycem at the appropriate stage in motor development and varying when and where it is used is the key.  Children need lots of different types of situations in order to develop bilateral control, and as long as they are given a wide variety of opportunities, offering them adaptive equipment during key activities isn’t going to slow them down.  It will show them that we are supporting them on their journey.

The Cheap Hack:  Silicone Mats

I will often recommend the use of silicone baking mats instead of dycem.  These inexpensive mats often do the job at a lower cost, and can be easily replaced if lost at daycare or school.  Dycem is a specialty item that can be purchased online but not in most stores.  Silicone mats aren’t as grippy, but they are easily washed and dried.  Some families are averse to anything that looks like adaptive equipment, so I may introduce these mats first to build a parent’s confidence in my recommendations.

Is Your Constipated Toddler Also Having Bladder Accidents? Here Are Three Possible Reasons Why

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Kids with chronic constipation are a challenge to train.  It can often appear that withholding is the issue, and to be certain, fear and pain are real issues.  But there are some physiological problems caused by constipation that contribute to bladder problems, and they aren’t always what your pediatrician is thinking about.

  1. The constant fullness of the colon can lead to bladder misplacement.  The bladder can be compressed and even folded, depending on exactly where the blockages exist.  This is not good for any organ, but it is especially a problem for a hollow organ that should be filling and emptying regularly.   The sensation of fullness with a misplaced bladder is therefore corrupted, so the child is not receiving correct input.  They may feel that they “have to go”, only to have nothing in their bladder, or very little.  They may fill up really fast and have to run to the toilet before they have an accident.  Too many accidents, and a child can beg for that pull-up so that they aren’t embarrassed or inconvenienced.  Even the little ones are subject to shame that isn’t from you as a parent, but in comparison to older kids or sibling comments.
  2. Chronic constipation stretches the pelvic floor, and therefore there is both less stability and less control.  The pelvic floor muscles help us to hold the urine into the bladder in time to get to the toilet, in conjunction with the sphincters.  Poor control and poor awareness go hand-in-hand.  There are physical therapists that specialize in pelvic floor rehab, but this isn’t easy to do with children that have limited language.  Not impossible, but not easy.  Letting the problem go until they are older means risking years of psychological and physical stress.
  3. Withholding due to pain or fear is a huge issue, and it can become automatic.  This means that solving the constipation issue may not immediately result in continence.  Using a wide range of approaches, including manual therapy, behavioral strategies, medications and diet control, and even core stability and sensory processing strategies, may be needed.

My final comment is that chronic constipation is nothing to ignore.  It needs to be addressed well and early.  It often doesn’t solve itself, and it may need more than a spoonful of Metamucil to clear up.  Get help and request consultations early rather than waiting to see how things “go”!

For more information about toilet training, see For Kids Who Don’t Know They Need to “Go”? Tell Them to Stand Up and The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

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Teens With Chronic Illness Or Disability Need A Good Guide: Read “Easy For You To Say”

bagas-vg-426755Being a tween or teen isn’t easy, but having a chronic physical illness or disability (not interchangeable) can make it extremely difficult.  Kids aren’t always great at asking for help or even answering questions, so this wonderfully useful book has done the groundwork for you.

Dr. Miriam Kaufman’s book Easy For You To Say is an easy-to read format of questions and answers that is accessible for teens to read and parents of teens will learn a tremendous amount as well.  She has a significant amount of experience with this subject, and has plenty of solid medical knowledge to back up her information.

As a physician, you will find that she includes a great deal of medical information, including medication lists related to teen concerns such as acne and sexual response and functioning.  These lists, of course, are dated the minute the book is published, but the general categories of drugs that have effects that concern teens is helpful as a starting point for discussions with a pediatrician or specialist.

This book isn’t just about the medical concerns that occur with physical illness and disability.  Dr. Kaufman covers the challenges of relationships of all kinds, and practical issues with school, work, and having fun as a teenager while dealing with significant issues.  This book doesn’t mince words but is unfailingly positive.  Kids (and parents of teens) really need that positivity while trying to launch into a life of more independence.  She is a strong proponent of self-advocacy that doesn’t become militant but is always life-affirming.  There is some discussion of higher education and career planning, which is so essential Career Planning for Teens with JRA, EDS, and Other Chronic Health Issues.

This book has it’s limitations.  It doesn’t address cognitive disabilities or psychiatric disabilities like living with bipolar illnesses, nor does it speak about ASD or SPD.  These issues can co-occur in the same teen, and it is then that you might want to think about what an OT has to offer.  This author doesn’t even mention us as helpful professionals that do more than, if you can believe it, help kids look at career options.  Perhaps she missed the class on what “occupation” really references.  Oh well.

As an occupational therapist, I wish my profession had been mentioned as a greater resource for disabled teens, but perhaps I should not be that surprised that it is left out.  Most physicians aren’t aware of how OTs can meaningfully assist kids past the Early Intervention years to enhance their functioning and learn both better skills and work-arounds to accomplish what they would like to do in life.  For example, her book speaks in great detail about the complications of mobility and coordination limitations during sexual activity.  Since just about every teen is curious about this subject, an occupational therapist could help them adapt their environment, equipment and movements to make this part of ADLs a success on many fronts.  Dr. Kaufman has a lot of ideas, but the specifics for each teen are going to be different, and that is where OTs shine.

This book should be on the shelf of most pediatric physiatrists, and most OTs.  It is now on mine!  If your child is no longer a child, I recommend “Life Disrupted” by Laurie Edwards.  This book covers the situations that young adults in their 20’s really need to figure out.  Specifically, learning how to craft a career, develop relationships and become independent when you are dealing with a chronic illness.  None of it is easy, but the author is both supportive and realistic.  I think that helps more than platitudes and positivity without, as Dr. Phil might say, putting verbs in the sentences.

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A Great Toilet Training Book for Neurotypical Kids: Oh Crap Potty Training!

sean-wells-471209My readers know that I wrote an e-book on potty training kids with low tone ( The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived! ) but I have to admit, I learn a lot from other authors.  Jamie Glowacki  has written a terrific book that speaks clearly and directly to parents who aren’t sure they are up to the challenge of toilet training.  Oh Crap Potty Training is a funny title, but it is filled with useful ideas that help parents understand their toddler better and understand training needs so they can tackle this major life skill with humor and love.  I have to admit, I am really happy that she suggests parents of kids with developmental issues ask their OT for advice.  So few parents actually do!

Here are a few of her concepts that illustrate why I like her book so much:

  1. She gets the situation toddlers find themselves in:  using the potty is a total change in a comforting daily routine.  Jamie points out that since birth, your child has only known elimination into a diaper.  The older they are when you start training, the longer they have been using diapers.  WE are excited to move them on, but they can be afraid to sit, afraid to fail, and afraid of the certainty of the diaper always being there.  You can’t NOT get it in the diaper!  She also gets the power struggle that can be more enticing to an emerging personality after about 30 months of age.  Just saying, she gets it.
  2. Potty training success opens meaningful doors for kids, diapers keep them back.  Some great activities and some wonderful schools demand continence to attend.  By the time your child is around 3, they can feel inferior if they aren’t trained, but not be able to tell you.  They express it with anxiety or anger.  If you interpret it as not being ready, you aren’t helping them.
  3. Some kids will NEVER be ready on their own.  I know I am going to get some pushback on this one, and she already says she gets hate mail for saying it.  But there is a small subset of kids who will need your firm and loving direction to get started.   Waiting for readiness isn’t who they are.  If you are the parent of one of these kids, you know she’s right.  Your kid hasn’t been ready for any transition or change.  You have had to help them and then they were fine.  But this is who they are, and instead of waiting until the school makes you train her or your in-laws say something critical to your child, it might be OK to make things happen rather than waiting.
  4. You must believe that you are doing the right thing by training your child.  They can smell your uncertainty, and it will sink your ship.  She really sold me on her book with this one.  As a pediatric therapist, I know that my confidence is key when instructing parents in treatment techniques for a home program.  If I don’t know that I am recommending the right strategy, I know my doubt will show and nothing will go right.

If you are looking for some ideas on training kids of all stripes and needs, check out my posts  For Kids Who Don’t Know They Need to “Go”? Tell Them to Stand Up and Toilet Training For Preschool And Stuck in Neutral? Here’s Why…...  Of course, if your child has low muscle tone or hypermobility, my e-book will help you understand why things seem so much harder, and what you can do to make potty training a success!

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For Kids Who Don’t Know They Need to “Go”? Tell Them to Stand Up

 

photo-1453342664588-b702c83fc822For children with either low muscle tone or spasticity, toilet training can be a real challenge.  If it isn’t clothing management or making it to the potty on time, they can have a hard time perceiving that NOW is the time to start heading to the toilet.

Why?  Often, their interoception isn’t terrific.  What is interoception?  Think of it like proprioception, but internal.  It’s the ability to identify and interpret sensory information coming from organs and internal tissues.  Among them, the pressure of a full bladder or a full colon.  If you can’t feel and interpret sensation correctly, your only clue that you need the potty is when your pants are soiled.  Uh-oh.  A child with muscle tone issues is almost certainly going to have sensory issues.  Tone will affect the amount and quality of sensory feedback from their body.

What can you do to help kids?  The simplest, and the fastest solution I have found, is to tell them to stand up and see if they have changed their mind.  Why?  Because in a sitting position, the force of a full bladder or colon on the abdominal wall and the pelvic floor isn’t as intense.  Gravity and intra-abdominal pressure increase those sensations in standing.  More sensation can lead to more awareness.

So the next time your child tells you they don’t have to “go”, ask them to stand up and reconsider their opinion.  Now, if they are trying to watch a show or play a game, you aren’t going to get very far.  So make sure that they don’t have any competition for their attention!

Looking for more information on toilet training?  Well, I wrote the (e) book!  The Practical Guide To Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone gives you readiness checklists and ways to make readiness actually happen.  It has strategies you can use today to start making progress, regardless of your child’s level of communication and mobility.  Learn what occupational therapists know about how to teach this essential skill!  It is available on my website tranquil babies, on Amazon and on a terrific site for therapists and parents Your Therapy Source.  Read more about my unique book:The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

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