Category Archives: parenting

DUPLO Train Set Is Affordable Safe Fun!

 

 

91YccX0yt9L._SL1500_.jpgI really like this set from LEGO.  The DUPLO line is intended for children 18 months to 5 years old, but I think older kids will enjoy it as well when they combine pieces to make more complex designs.

The #1 reason I like this set is that the great majority of the pieces are easy to hold, easy to assemble, and hard to swallow.  I encourage families to remove the smaller pieces until their child is not prone to putting small things in their mouth.  But that still leaves so many pieces left for fun!

Young children struggle with asymmetrically-shaped pieces, so simple squares and rectangles are easier to manage.  The larger squares with numbers on them are especially easy to hold; they fit securely into the palm of a toddler and provide surface area for them to place their fingers securely on the sides of the blocks as they put two together.

In addition, the colors and the numbers are great for early learning.  Some of the families I work with get two sets and work on matching numbers and colors while they are working on grasp and coordination.

Oh, and the set is under $20 U.S.  Nothing like a value to make me smile!!!

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Halloween is Coming: For Children Who Get Spooked Easily, It’s No Celebration

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I wonder what the little girl with the sparkler is really thinking?

I love Halloween, but not everyone does.  Kids with sensory sensitivity top THAT list!  The strange transformation of their classrooms, homes and yards aren’t exciting; they are disorienting.  The masks and loose costumes?  Pure Hell.  But at least here in America, it often seems like it is almost unpatriotic to shun this holiday unless you have a religious objection.  What can you do?

I am re-blogging this post since I think it is worth another look: Have More Halloween Fun When Kids Don’t or Can’t Trick-Or-Treat , and because even if you DO take your child out for treats, the ideas could help them handle things more easily.

In this climate of diversity challenge, I sincerely hope that there is room for all of the people, young and old, who don’t really have fun with Halloween in it’s traditional forms.  I would like to think that holidays could be what you make them.

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Just because the squash on the left aren’t orange, that shouldn’t mean they aren’t great symbols of the season!

How To Get Your Special Needs Child To Sit Safely In The Tub

Bathtime is usually a fun experience for young children.  Toys, splashing, bubbles.  But it’s not always fun for parents.  If your child has issues with sensory sensitivity, sensory seeking or hypermobility, you can feel like a one-armed paperhanger; juggling toys, washcloth and child!

One solution is to use a bath seat.  A word of common sense first:  never leave a child unattended in any type of bath seat.  Just because these devices improve stability, they don’t remove all the risks of bathing in a tub.  Young children need to be supervised at all times.  But a tub seat does help a special needs child remain sitting and stable, and that can really help parents during bathing.  Here are the positive effects of using a bath seat or tub insert:

Kids with sensory seeking or sensory sensitivity can find the expanse of the standard tub overstimulating, and in response, they may become agitated or fearful.  The youngest kids can’t tell you how this feels.  They just act up.  Using a bath seat or a tub insert can allow these children to stay in the tub long enough to be washed, and help them stay calm and relaxed.  Since bath time is usually before bedtime, that is a big plus!

For kids with instability, the bath seat or insert can prevent them from injuring themselves if they tip or lean too much.  They could even build their ability to sit up if the seat is well-chosen for their needs.  These kids need to acquire a sense of independence, and if they are given the right support, they can start to sit without an adult holding them.  They may be able to use both hands more freely, developing coordination for learning to wash themselves and confidence in their independence.

Selecting the correct equipment can be easy or challenging.  After determining what level of assistance your child needs, figure out if your child fits well in the seat you are looking at.  Some seats are made for very small children.  If your child is older or larger, keep looking until you find equipment for them.  Therapy catalogs and sites have equipment for children with significant difficulties in holding their head up or maintaining a sitting position.  These are more expensive than mass-market items, but they are often adaptable and you can remove parts as your child builds their sitting skills and safety.

For more information about self-care and the special needs child, check out Kids With Low Muscle Tone Can Sit For Dinner: A Multi-Course StrategyImproving Daily Life Skills for Kids With Special Needs, and OXO for Kids: Great Tableware For Older Kids With Sensory and Motor Issues.

Are you toilet training your special needs child?  Do you worry that it may never happen?  I wrote the e-book for you!  The Practical Guide To Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone is filled with readiness tips, techniques to find the best potty seat, and techniques to make learning faster and easier for both of you!  It is available on my website tranquil babies, and on Amazon and Your Therapy Source )a terrific site for parents and therapists).

 

Not Making It To the Potty In Time? Three Reasons Why Special Needs Kids Have Accidents

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If your special needs child isn’t experiencing a medical reason for incontinence (infection, blockage, neurological impairment) then you might be facing one of these three common roadblocks to total training success:

  1. Your child has limited or incomplete interoceptive awareness.  What is interoception?  It is the ability to sense and interpret internal cues.  The distention of the bladder, the fullness of the colon, etc are all internal cues that should send them to the potty.  Unfortunately, just as poor proprioception can hinder a child’s ability to move smoothly, poor interception can result in potty accidents, among other things.  Working with them to become more aware of those feelings can include monitoring their intake and elimination routines.  You will know when they should have more sensory input, and can educate them about what that means.  Listen to how they describe internal feelings.  Kids don’t always know the right words, so use their words or give them a new vocabulary to help them communicate.
  2. Your child’s clothing is difficult to manage, or their dressing skills aren’t up to the task.  They run out of time before nature calls.  Tops that are hard to roll up, pants that have tricky fasteners, even fabrics that are hard to grasp and manipulate.  All of these can make it a few seconds too long once they get into the bathroom.  If you are not in there with them, you may have to ask them to do a “dry run” so you can see what is going on and what you can change to make undressing faster.  In my e-book, The Practical Guide To Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone, I teach parents the best ways to teach dressing skills and the easiest clothing choices for training and beyond.  If you have ever had to “go” while in a formal gown or a holiday costume, you know how clothing choices can make it a huge challenge to using the toilet!
  3. Your child is too far from the bathroom when they get the “urge”.  Children  with mobility problems or planning problems may not think that they are in trouble right away.  They might be able to get to the bathroom in time in their own home.  When they are out in public or at school, the distance they have to cover can be significant, and barriers such as stairs or elevators can be an issue.  Even kids playing outside in their own yards might not be able to come inside in time.  If you can’t alter where they are, teach them to use the potty before they go outside or when they are near the bathroom, instead of waiting.  Taking the time to empty a half-full bladder is better than an accident.

Looking for more information on toilet training?  Read How To Teach Your Child To Wipe “Back There” and Low Tone and Toilet Training: Learning to Hold It In Long Enough to Make It to The Potty.  and of course, my e-book is available for more extensive assistance The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

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Teaching Safety Awareness To Special Needs Toddlers

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Parents anxiously wait for their special needs infants to sit up, crawl and walk.  That last skill can take extra months or years.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, uses walking as a benchmark for maturity and independence.

They shouldn’t.  A child with poor safety awareness isn’t safer when they acquire mobility skills.  Sometimes they are much less safe.  Yes, they may be able to move without your help, but they may need to be more highly monitored and given more assistance to learn how to be safe.  They are exploring their environment and their new skills that took them a long time to develop.  They have been wanting to climb on the couch for months.  Now they can.  Getting down the “safe” way isn’t as important to them, and maybe not as easy as sliding or rolling off.  Oops.

What can parents do to help their child be a safer (notice I didn’t say “safe”) ambulator, crawler, cruiser, etc?  

  1. Talk about safety before they are independent.  Will they understand what it means?  Probably not, but your tone and your insistence on how movement is done says that you value safety and you want them to do the same.  Kids learn from all of our actions.  Make this one familiar to them by being very obvious and explicit.
  2. Take your physical therapist seriously when she or he teaches you how to work on core strength and balance skills.  Yes, I still maintain that safety is more than a sensory-motor skill, but having the best possible sensory and motor skills is important.  Having good safety awareness and safety behaviors without these skills will make a child more vulnerable to falls and injuries.
  3. The same goes for sensory processing activities.  If your child cannot perceive the movement of falling, the tactile and proprioceptive change as they crawl or step on something, or tolerate multiple sensory inputs at once, they are much less safe, even with good strength and coordination.  Really.
  4. Know your child’s cognitive and social/emotional skills.  Impulsive children are less safe overall.  Children that cannot process your instructions or recall them without you are less safe.  Children that enjoy defying you more than they want to avoid falling are less safe.  If you know any of these things, you can gauge safety and react more appropriately.  You will be less frustrated and more helpful to them.
  5. Reward safe execution and do not reward unsafe behavior.   My favorite way to avoid punishment but also to send my safety message home?  Not providing eye contact or much at all in the way of conversation as I stop unsafe actions, and either removing a child from an unsafe situation or assisting them in using the safe method to execute their move.  They get no satisfaction from seeing me react strongly, and they get the message that I am not accepting anything but their best safety skills as they move.
  6. Stop a child that is moving in an unsafe way, and see if they can recall and initiate the safe choice before assisting.  You don’t want to teach them that only you will make them safe and they need someone to be safe out there. They have to learn how to assess, react and respond, and all children can build their skills.  Some need more teaching, and some need more motivation to begin to take responsibility for their safety.  Give them both.

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Have a Child With Low Tone or a Hypermobile Baby? Pay More Attention to How You Pick Your Little One Up

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Carrying and holding kids is such a natural thing to do.  But when your child has hypermobility due to low muscle tone, joint issues or a connective tissue disorder, how you accomplish these simple tasks makes a difference.  Your actions can do more than get them from one position or location to another: they can build a child’s skills, or they can increase the risk of damage by creating excessive flexibility or even accidentally injure a child’s joints.

How could something so simple be both a problem as well as an opportunity?  Because hypermobility creates two issues that have to be addressed:  Less strength and stability at vulnerable joints, and less sensory feedback regarding pain and position sense in your child.  The ligaments, tendons, muscles and joint capsule at every hypermobile joint are more likely to be damaged when excessive force is placed on them.

Knowing how much force is too much isn’t easy without some instruction from a skilled therapist.  Depending on your child to react quickly and accurately to accidental stretch or pressure by crying or pulling away isn’t a good idea.  Their excessive flexibility reduces firing of receptors deep within all of these tissues in response to excessive force.  You may have looked at your child’s shoulders or ankles and think “That looks uncomfortable.  Why isn’t she fussing?”  This is the reason.  It means that you will have to be altering your actions to reduce the risk of harm.

As I mentioned earlier, this is also an opportunity.  It is an opportunity to teach your child about safe movement and positioning, right from the start.  Even the youngest child will pick up on your emphasis on alignment, control and safety.  They are always listening and learning from you every day, so incorporate effective movement into your handling and help your child build awareness and independence today!

Here are some strategies for you and your child:

  1. Always spread the force of your grasp over their body, and place your hands on the most stable locations, not the most flexible.  Lift a child through their trunk, not by holding their arms.  If they cannot steady their head, support it while you lift.  If you feel those little bones in their wrists and ankles moving under your grasp, support those joints instead of pulling on them.  Not sure how to do this correctly?  Ask your therapist for some instruction.
  2. Do not depend on a child’s comfort level to tell you how far a joint should stretch.   Think about typical joint movement instead.   If their hips spread very wide when you place them on your hip, think about holding them facing forward, with their knees in line with their hips, not pressed together.
  3. Give them time to move with you.  Those over-stretched muscles are at a mechanical disadvantage for contraction.  This means that when you tell a child to sit up, you have to give them time to do so before you scoop them up.  They aren’t  being defiant or lazy (I have not, in fact, ever met a lazy baby!).  This is a neuromuscular issue.
  4. Discourage unsafe movements.  Some children find that overstretching their joints gives them more sensory feedback.  It feels good to them.  This is not OK.  You will not be able to stop them every time, but they will eventually learn that their is a right way and a wrong way to move.  Knowing why isn’t necessary.  Yet.  Teach them to respect joint movement and use things like graded joint compression and vibration (your occupational therapist should be able to help you with this) to give them the sensory feedback they want.

Still concerned about safety?  Read Teaching Safety Awareness To Special Needs Toddlers to learn more methods to build independence without injury.

 

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How To Spot A Gifted Child In Your Preschool Class (Or Your Living Room!)

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Bright kid: “Are there any sharks out there?” Gifted kid:  ” The most common shark in the Atlantic Ocean is the ….”

Do you have a gifted kid?  Do you teach one?  You might not be able to tell the difference between a bright child and a gifted child by the number of letters they know, or the facts about dinosaurs they can recall.  Here are some distinct signs that your child, student or therapy client is actually gifted:

  • They are not a joy to teach.  Bet you didn’t expect that!  Yes, the gifted child isn’t usually sitting there soaking up knowledge.  They are out there arguing points and doing their own experiments.  They see the subtle differences, so they are going to bring up the exceptions to ALL of your rules.  They don’t like rules and correct answers nearly as much as the bright kids.  They are interesting to teach, but they won’t be as easy to teach as the bright children who simply learn what they are told and repeat it back to you.
  • They learn fast.  Really fast.  The typical child will need 15-20 repetitions or demonstrations and practice to learn a skill. The gifted children may only need 1-2 repetitions to learn.  The bright children need 5-8 reps.  So if you demonstrate a dance move or how to write a letter and your child copies you perfectly the first time, you may have a gifted child in front of you!
  • They NEED complexity and novelty.  Note that I said “need” versus “prefer”.  These kids don’t love routines.  They learn them quickly, but they find them boring, not comforting.  They don’t want to hear a favorite book again as much as they want you to read the next book in the series.  Without sufficient stimulation, the gifted child will go find her own entertainment and probably tell you what to do with your routines!  Bright children are often happiest when they can show you what they remember.  Gifted kids like to show you what you aren’t seeing or mentioning about a topic.
  • Gifted children are intensely curious.  This is different in magnitude from a bright child, who is interested in many things and consistently pays attention to stories and lessons.  The gifted child wants to know everything, and they want to know it now.  If the questions that you are asked show a level of synthesis you would not expect based on age and exposure, you may have a gifted child in front of you!
  • They have a lot of energy.  The gifted child may not need that nap, or they may collapse suddenly due to their full-on approach to life.  They could wake up totally ready to go, and go to sleep talking as well.  This is a child that isn’t going to want to be quiet when they have something to say.  The bright kids raise their hands and wait to be called on.  Be prepared to expend some energy yourself to engage with a gifted child.
  • Their passions and ideas can result in daydreaming and preferring to work alone on their projects.  This doesn’t mean they can’t be social.  But it may mean that they see no point in gluing construction paper triangles onto a pumpkin when they could be creating a pumpkin patch and a corn maze like they visited this weekend.  They won’t passively complete your project when they have a better idea of their own.

If you have spotted a child that may be gifted, you will want to offer them the opportunity to expand and explore within your classroom or your home.  You don’t need to label them.  If you find that their abilities place them far outside the reach of your class plan or they complain about school, it may be time to pursue formal testing.  Linda Silverman, a psychologist with a specialization in working with the gifted, suggests that any child that tests more than 2 standard deviations from the the mean (statistically far from average) is in need of special educational services.  Just because gifted kids are not below average doesn’t mean that they don’t have needs.  To learn more about gifted kids, read How To Talk So Your Gifted Child Will Listen and Sensitivity and Gifted Children: The Mind That Floods With Feeling.  Some gifted kids have other issues.  Read Gifted and Struggling? Meet the Twice Exceptional Student and How OT Can Help.

And remember that “gifted” doesn’t mean “better kid”.  It just means better skills.  The gifted population has been hammered for being elitist, when in fact, they receive a lot of criticism and prejudice as well as glory.  Treating these kids fairly will allow them to thrive!

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