Category Archives: infant sleep strategies

Why Parents Used The Fisher-Price Rock and Play Sleeper: Desperation and Confusion

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As a Happiest Baby on the Block (HBOTB) educator, I was thrilled to hear about the product’s recall, and horrified at the number of deaths attributed to this device.  The media spent a lot of time pointing out that the company’s marketing included clear messaging that suggested that children could sleep in it, in defiance of the national pediatrician’s association’s recommendations that children sleep on a flat surface without padding or bedding until they are old enough to move to prevent suffocation.

Many of the stories online made it sound like the company must be out of their mind, or the parents must be idiots.  I don’t think that either thing is true.   I think I know why well-meaning parents listened to the printing on the box and not the hurried message/tri-fold handout from their child’s doctor:  they simply want some sleep.  They see how calm their child is in this device, and don’t know what else to do to get some peace and quiet.  Fisher-Price knew what I know; parents can be desperate and want a convenient solution to their struggles.  Their packaging mentioned both the warning and showed sleeping children in the device.

Babies are amazing, but babies don’t sleep through the night right away.  They often don'[t sleep through the night in the first 6 months.  That is a long time for parents to deal with their own chronic sleeplessness.  Many families are dual-earners, and many parents today are over 30.  Losing a night’s sleep at 23 and losing a night’s sleep at 39 are completely different.  One makes you sluggish.  The other makes you feel like you were hit by a truck.  Have that happen to you for a week, and you cannot handle screaming or exhaustion very well.  Really.  Do that for 6 months, and you might agree to almost anything anyone suggests to get a little more sleep.  When your child is so peaceful in that carrier or infant positioner, you may not want to risk waking them.  Do it anyway.  And learn how to get them back to sleep more easily.

One reason why I became a HBOTB educator was my sympathy for the parents I worked with as an occupational therapist.  These are kind people, intelligent people, but people who were not given great strategies by their pediatricians.  They were told what to do, but not HOW to do it.  Pediatricians aren’t given the time to walk parents through good techniques, even if they know them.  And a lot don’t know how to calm babies.  They know how to cure babies.  Dr. Karp’s techniques tell parents  how.

Since the arrival of the SNOO, things have become a bit simpler.  The need for education hasn’t ended, because unless you intend to spend the first 12 weeks at home each and every day, parents need to know how to calm their babies without a device.  Read Why You Still Need the 5S’s, Even If You Bought a SNOO   if you would like to know more about how HBOTB will save your sanity during the day.

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New Baby? Exhausted? Try Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s To Pull Things Together

 

 

annie-spratt-178364New parents are often shocked at how tired they are.  After all, newborns don’t DO much.  They eat, sleep, pee and poop, and that is about it.  But they do it around the clock and they aren’t very experienced with any of it.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s can help all of you learn more and get some sleep.

Not because the 5 s’s give babies exactly what they had in the womb.  They do, but what swaddling, swinging, sucking, etc provide is a roadmap for how baby nervous systems work.  Once you know that babies need this, not that, you feel more in control of the situation and you can relax.  And babies that have been calmed down faster and more effectively feel that you get them, you really get them.  They sense that their parents can help them better than their aunties and neighbors.  Feeing understood starts here.

 

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When babies stop crying faster sleep an hour or so longer (yes, doing the 5 S’s can do that!) and eat/nurse more easily, life is less exhausting.  Not completely a day at the beach, but not as tough as it was before.  For more information, take a look at Help Your Newborn Adjust to Daycare By Using Happiest Baby on the Block Strategies and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.

Wishing all you new parents a wonderful first year!!!

Why You Still Need the 5S’s, Even If You Bought a SNOO

 

 

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Want peace?  Of course you do!

OK, I won’t make you wait to get the answer to this question:  your newborn won’t spend all day, every day, in the SNOO!  Don’t know what the SNOO is?  The SNOO smart sleeper was designed by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp as a bassinet that uses many of his fabulous Happiest Baby on the Block techniques to soothe your newborn for sleep.  It effectively quiets and calms newborns with the touch of a button (almost).

After seeing what the SNOO can do, you may WANT to leave her there all day, peacefully dozing away.  That isn’t a reality for most parents.  After the first few weeks, and sometimes earlier than that, you will want or need to take your little bundle out of the SNOO and out of your home.  You may visit your parents, go shopping, go to the park with older children, etc.  Uh-oh!  The SNOO can’t come with you!  Oh, and by the way, leaving your little one in any device with her head against a surface for too many hours of the day places her at risk for “positional plagiocephaly”.  Yes, giving your child a flattened skull.  The same cranial bones that are malleable enough to slide through the birth canal can be deformed by letting a child lie in one position too long.  So no, you cannot leaver her in the SNOO all day long!

We know that the agitated screaming that is called colic starts on average at 2 weeks after the due date, and peaks around 6-7 weeks of age.  For the great majority of babies, serious digestive problems and other medical issues aren’t the reason for all that crying.  Babies are often just too little to be able to handle the complexity of post-uterine life in those first few months.  Combine individual temperament, limited brain development, and the big shift to the external world’s demands, and their tiny nervous systems get overwhelmed and they end up screaming.  Loudly, and often for a long, long time.  Parents get exhausted and discouraged.  The SNOO does provide the neuro-developmental needs these tiny babies have so they can calm down.    But asking the SNOO to solve your baby’s problems all day long is going to mean that you will have to be tethered to it for months!

Thank goodness you don’t have to!  Before he developed the SNOO, Dr. Karp created the 5 S’s  New Baby? Exhausted? Try The 5 S’s To Pull Things Together.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s are what will save your sanity when you pop him out of the SNOO and take your show on the road.  Knowing how to swaddle, shush, swing, use sucking and the side/stomach positioning (for calming, not sleep) will make your whole day better and more flexible.  I teach the Happiest Baby concepts in classes and in individual consultations, and I think that every parent should learn the 5S’s and buy the SNOO.

If the SNOO’s steep price tag has you hesitating, then you definitely need to learn the 5 S’s.  Get the video or go to a class.  But don’t think that you are a bad parent or that your baby is in trouble because of all that crying.  Most newborns are just fine; they just need your help to pull themselves together until they are old enough and skilled enough to do it themselves.  Learn to give your baby what she needs, and you all can sleep a little bit better this week!

 

Looking for more information on the 5 S’s and helping your baby calm down for sleep and feeding?

You can call me for help!  Visit my website Tranquil Babies  and purchase a consultation session to ask your questions and review all the baby calming techniques in detail!  A consultation session is a great baby shower gift; it is like “phone-a-friend” on a game show, except the game show is YOUR LIFE!

Take a look at Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.  As a nationally certified Happiest Baby educator, I love to help parents learn what their little one needs to settle down and make that “fourth trimester” transition!

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Help Your Newborn Adjust to Daycare By Using Happiest Baby on the Block Strategies

ID-100108085.jpgReturning to work soon after delivery can mean putting your 3-month old in daycare.  As challenging as this can be emotionally, it can also be a struggle for your baby, especially if her only self-calming strategy has been nursing.  Should you (or could you) quit your job or just tough it out?  There is another alternative:  teach your little one to respond to  a wider variety of self-calming cues.

Self-calming at 3 months?  Well, yes and no.  Babies at this age are learning to respond to messages that we send.  This is the very beginning of self-regulation.  Actions and sensory inputs that tell their nervous system ” You are safe”, “It’s time to sleep” and “I get it; you need a little more help to calm down and I know what to do”.  They aren’t able to devise  their own solutions yet, but they can begin to self-calm if we read their behavior correctly and understand what they need developmentally and neurologically.  This is where Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block strategies, and his other great sleep solutions, can save your sanity and your child’s sleep.  Many of the 5 S’s that worked so well in the first 12 weeks of life can be adjusted to support this transition into daycare.

The weeks between 3 months and 6 months are almost the 5th trimester (Dr. Karp refers to the first 3 months of life as the “4th trimester”).   I think it is a bridge period in which babies need more help to calm down than many realize.  At this age, they suck their fingers to self-soothe while awake.   But… they aren’t strong enough to keep their hands or their thumbs in their mouth when they are lying down and falling asleep.  Gravity pulls those heavy hands down to the crib mattress. They don’t babble their way to sleep the way a 6 month-old does, and they are barely ready to listen to lullabies. So what can you do?  Be creative and use the 5 S’s as a launching point for your new routines.

Swaddling may not be as effective, or even safe, at this stage.  Babies who are rolling could be strong enough to roll onto their bellies.  With their arms swaddled, they are at risk for suffocation.  Once your baby is in that “I’m gonna practice this rolling thing all day” stage, swaddling becomes more of a risk than a solution.

There are swaddle garments that convert to safer solutions for this stage.  The garments that still give firm pressure over the chest but leave legs and arms free are specifically designed to keep that nice calm feeling going.  They allow your child to roll freely.  Dr. Karp also suggests that swaddling in an infant swing is another safe choice for those babies that are experimenting with rolling but still need swaddling to pull it all together.  REMEMBER:  your baby needs to be put into the swing calm, and securely strapped in.  If she is too big for the swing, then don’t use it.  Just because it is calming for her is not a reason to use a too-small swaddling blanket or a tiny infant swing.

Pacifiers are recommended by both Dr. Karp and the American Academy of Pediatrics, but some babies don’t love them, and some parents are afraid of creating a paci addict.  For those nervous parents, I wrote a special post: Prevent Pacifier Addiction With A Focus on Building Self-Calming Without Plastic.  The truth is that sucking is a normal developmentally-appropriate self-calming behavior, and addiction really doesn’t become an issue until your child has nothing else that works at all.

Between 3-6 months, your little one is still benefitting from sucking, and she can learn to use a paci in daycare.  She isn’t at risk of nipple confusion, unlike a 2 week-old, and she won’t reject your breast because of paci use.  Nursing is the total package of love, warmth and nutrition.  If she says “no more” to nursing, it is likely that she would have done so without the paci.  Some babies are just ready to be done early.  Use Dr. Karp’s paci learning technique to teach a baby how to handle a paci and keep it in her mouth.  By 3 months, she has strong oral muscles, so it is a matter of practice and helping her to realize how handy pacis can be to calm a bit for sleep.  If she spits it out while asleep….well, mission accomplished!

White noise is the one HBOTB strategy that never needs to end.  But for these little guys, the new noises of daycare are so different from home that this may be the secret weapon.  Dr. Karp sells his carefully designed white noise CD.  It can be loaded onto a phone as well from iTunes. Select the track that matches your child’s state (crying, drowsy  and calm, etc.) and watch the magic begin.  Encourage your daycare to use this totally safe method of soothing.

Rocking a baby in your arms can replace the infant swing, and some older newborns still calm down when held on their sides or stomach.  Again, this is never a sleep position, just a calming position.  But if it works for your baby, feel free to use it when you hold her.

Once you have created an updated HBOTB routine that works, share it with the daycare staff.  You may find that they have rules and regulations, and some staff aren’t open to new ideas.  My suggestion is to emphasize how easily you can get her calm.  Even the most rigid care provider’s ears perk up when she thinks that there is a way to make her job easier.  These people work long hours and work hard.  Think of this as helping her and your little one have a better day!

Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness

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Newborn crying can make you feel like you are on a ferris wheel; around and around you go!

Swaddling is a skill, but it is also an art.  Once you have your little one snug as a bean burrito, they don’t always stop crying right away.  When I teach parents the 5 S’s as part of a Happiest Baby on the Block consultation or class, I try very hard to explain that most children need more layers of love.  Parents aren’t doing it wrong if they keep crying, and babies aren’t resisting the swaddle.  They just need more support because they have little brains and few experiences in this world.  Once you figure out what combo of moves your child needs, you have success!

Once you have done a good-enough swaddle, use the side or stomach-down calming move right away.  As a pediatric occupational therapist, this is my favorite, since it is using the neurology of the vestibular (balance) system to help your child chill out.  Really.  They aren’t thinking  “Gee, I love the view in this direction”, or ” I am much calmer looking at the floor”.  Their brain is getting some calming signals from their inner ear, diminishing that arching from the Startle Reflex and helping them pull together.  Try both positions, and make little adjustments in the exact tilt.  Everyone’s brain is a little different, so your child might need side-plus-slightly face-down to hit that calm point.

Think of it like this:  when you sleep, why do you think people curl up on their sides?  Because the bed is too short?  It is relaxing, naturally relaxing, to many people.  No one told them to sleep that way, they just do.  The number of back sleepers is far fewer, yet pediatricians insist on back sleep for safety and give you no idea how to convince your child to chill in this position.  That seems unfair, but then, many pediatricians aren’t baby care experts, they are baby health experts.  We just want them to be.

Now you can do all the gentle swinging, shushing and sucking layers you learned in Happiest Baby.  They all work well, and you will quickly learn which one is the most powerful for your unique little baby.  As your child grows, the layers aren’t as needed as much, but you may find that one of them really makes a difference.  Often it is the white noise of shushing.  Now you know why.  It’s their neurological sleep signal.

Sweet dreams, and remember to layer it on!

Why Doesn’t Swaddling Alone Calm Newborns?

I attended a local function last night, and this question was on my mind as parents recounted their experiences with newborns and calming.  They thought that they were doing the swaddling wrong.  Or that their child was abnormal.  Not likely.  They just didn’t realize that for most babies, swaddling alone doesn’t do the deal.

As a certified Happiest Baby educator, I am aware that there are a small percentage of babies that are so mellow that they might not even need a swaddle.  These newborns just eat, poop, pee and sleep.  Anywhere, any time.  Having such a baby feels like winning the lottery.  It is, and it is almost as rare.  Dr. Karp estimates the percentage of “easy” babies as somewhere between 5 and 15%.  Enjoy it, but do not think that baby #2 will be the same.  It isn’t inherited, or your divine guidance, or that your husband is a gem.  You got lucky.

Most babies are in between as far as temperament and fussiness, and need at least some of the 5 S’s.  Swinging, sucking, side/stomach positioning (to calm only), shush-ing, and the swaddle.  They are only occasionally fussy, and it is clear to you what they need after you know the Happiest Baby moves.

And then there are the babies that he classifies as “spirited”.  You know if you have one of these.  Peals of joy, but also screams that could make the sheetrock fall off the walls.  If they are hungry, you’d think they were being starved.  If they are tired, they are hysterical.  If you don’t pick them up in time, they make it clear that you will rue the day you do that again.  They are not possessed, they are expressing a combo of lack of self-calming skills, a really immature brain, and a fiery temperament.  You need to do all the moves of Happiest Baby, and do them right.  I can help.  Read more of my posts, get Dr. Karp’s DVD, and practice the moves until you could teach my classes.

So, swaddling does work, it just isn’t the end of the story for most babies.  If you have a baby for whom swaddling isn’t enough, don’t give up.  Take a class, get a consultation from me or another educator, and don’t worry that a screaming newborn means a lifetime of this rollercoaster!

Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled

Yes, I said it.  Some babies scream louder after you swaddle them, and parents assume that this means that they are horrified of being restricted.  This is usually far from the truth, but you have to know a little bit about newborn neurology to understand why this is likely not to be a case of protesting imprisonment and more a request for more layers of calming.

For 9 months, a newborn has been living in a tighter and tighter space.  Baby bumps get bigger, but the uterus can only expand so far.  At the end of pregnancy, babies are a snug fit.  Really snug.  They aren’t uncomfortable, and in fact, swaddling is replicating the whole-body firm hug that they know so well.  It is diminishing the shock of the Moro (startle) reflex that scares them and makes them cry more.  It keeps them at a consistent temperature, just like the womb.

So why do some of them scream more right after you swaddle them?  Well, some babies are sensitive little souls, the kind that cry with new noises, too much talking, or even when their digestion “toots” a little or they get very hungry.  They can go straight from happy to upset after too much activity, too much socializing, or too much interaction.  By the end of the day, they are at the end of their ability to handle life.  This can be partly temperament, their unique way of interacting with the world.  It can also be that their nervous system is still very immature, and they are taking a while to develop self-calming.  That is not a medical problem.  Every baby is new at this life-after-womb thing.  Some babies just need a little more time living like they did for 9 months, cozy and comforted.

These babies need swaddling more than some others, but they find anything new to be a challenge.  Give them a chance to get used to it, and make sure that you are doing a good swaddle.  Check how toasty they are, by making sure that they are not sweating behind their neck or ears (if so, lighten up on layers and swaddle in light cotton).  They probably also need more than swaddling to pull it together.  If you haven’t read Happiest Baby on the Block or seen the DVD, you might not be aware that swaddling alone is not going to finish the job for sensitive kids.  Sucking, shushing, side or stomach positioning (for calming only) and swinging may all be needed to calm these babies down.

So for all those parents who think that their baby is the one that hates swaddling, I encourage you to make sure that your technique is solid, your blanket or swaddle garment fits correctly, and that you layer on the love moves with more than a swaddle to calm your little one!

 

First Father’s Day? You Might Be the Best Baby Calmer In The House

Fathers are often the partners that jump right into practicing the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques.  They “shush” loud and long, they do the quick jiggle (for swinging) with enthusiasm, and they can usually use just one arm to support a newborn on it’s side to calm them.  Moms are in awe of their guy who couldn’t stand to change a diaper and was too nervous to even hold that baby a few weeks ago.  Go, Daddy!

Women do not have the corner on the comforting market.  Yes, they can nurse a baby to calm them, but not every fussy baby is a hungry baby.  Men can be a warm, yet rock-solid, source of physical comfort for children.  The Happiest Baby techniques seem more intense than a standard soft cuddle.  It’s because they are more intense.  Not dangerous in any way, but designed to give newborns a replication of the more sensory-rich womb experience .  Dr. Karp’s awareness of temperament and early development refine that basic concept to give newborns what they need to pull it together, get calm, and get some sleep.  Giving them more touch, more movement and more loud and steady white-noise sounds all together is the key.  The fact is that learning these techniques are new to moms as well helps a father not be intimidated by the “natural” knowledge of women.  The truth is that no one is born knowing what to do, and you can’t google it either.  The parents I teach are pretty much on a level playing field for this stuff.  And the men sometimes amaze me with their new skills.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who have stepped up their game, and mastered the easy way to calm their newborns!

 

Will White Noise Harm a Newborn’s Hearing?

This question doesn’t come up as often as it should when I do Happiest Baby on the Block consultations.  The short answer is that common sense goes a long way to protecting a newborn’s hearing.  The longer answer is that understanding sound conduction and newborn development will help parents use white noise confidently.  Here we go:

White noise, selected carefully and used with some knowledge, can be a powerful way to calm newborns and it can be a go-to sleep cue for the entire first year.  Babies that recognize white noise as a cue that it is time to sleep are easier to calm when the going gets rough.  When that first cold, first tooth, or sibling tantrum comes along, the baby who calms automatically with white noise will be easier to soothe.  The gift that keeps on giving!  Is it addicting?  Only as much as your cozy pajamas are on a chilly night! Are Babies Addicted to White Noise? Yes….and No

Sound characteristics for safety and effectiveness are volume and pitch.  High pitched sounds are the more dangerous type, especially when used at high volume and close to a sleeping child’s ears.  High pitched sounds are also less effective at calming.  Examples of high and low pitched sounds?  Think about the difference between a whistle (high) and a vacuum (low pitched but loud) or water from a shower head (low pitch and moderately loud).  Everyone has heard stories of babies who stopped screaming only if they were next to the clothes dryer or when someone ran the vacuum.  Those newborns aren’t excited about housework; the rumbling low frequency sound at a moderate volume helped calm them.  Thank goodness that Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby organization sells while noise CD’s and apps that replicate those calming sounds.  I like to vacuum, but not that much!

Babies who scream can easily reach 100 dB (decibel ). That is as loud as a lawnmower!  To use white noise to help a screaming baby calm down, you are going to have to turn up the volume temporarily to about 80-90 dB for white noise to have an effect.  Remember, I said tem-po-rarily.  Once a baby is not screaming, but is still fussy, it is time to lower the volume down gradually to a soft shower level. It is not recommended to use white noise at the volume level above 70dB all night long.  

How close should the sound source be to the baby?  It depends.  Obviously if it too far away, the effect of sound is diminished to the point where it does no good at all.  You will realize that quickly as you watch your newborn continue to scream and fuss.  Too close is not acceptable either, as the volume of sound will be too high.  By the way, Dr. Karp encourages families that want to use a cell phone for white noise to put it on Airplane Mode to diminish the amount of radio waves from the phone.  Most phones have tinny speakers that don’t deliver great low pitched sound anyway.  The most accurate way to know that the sound is a safe distance is to download a decibel meter app or buy a free-standing meter.  Place it next your child and adjust the volume so that the level for an all-night session is 65-70dB.  That is about the level of lively conversation, and a safe level for full-term babies.

Should you use white noise all day and all night?  Absolutely not.  Babies need white noise to sleep and calm, but when awake and interacting, they need to hear your loving voice, experience the quiet stillness of a peaceful home, and listen to the wonderful sounds of nature and family!

 

 

Out Of The Swaddle And Into The Frying Pan

Those first 2 weeks of life are pretty simple:  feed, sleep, diaper.  Lather, rinse and repeat.  From about 2 weeks until 12-14 weeks, the Happiest Baby strategies for getting a baby calm and sleeping soundly really do work to keep newborns (and parents) happy.  I am a certified Happiest Baby educator, and it is relatively easy to decode the common complaints of newborns in those first weeks and months.  In fact, using The Happiest Baby techniques can make it easier to see true medical problems that fussiness and intractable crying were masking.  This is one of the best reasons to learn these techniques if you or your partner are not pediatric clinicians.  And maybe even if you are.

After that period, the swaddle is replaced by a sleep garment, side and stomach positioning to calm doesn’t have much of an effect, and the swing is put away in the garage.   Using white noise can continue, and so can the pacifier.  If so, then why is this period a minefield for accidental parenting?  Because changes in behavior that are just normal development aren’t anticipated and interpreted.  All you fans of the 5 S’s of Happiest Baby on the Block, here is what is coming down the line:  big changes that you need to anticipate and manage in a forward-thinking manner.  It won’t be so simple at 4 months.  Don’t be nervous; keep your eyes open and read the rest of this post!

I am a big fan of The Baby Whisperer’s books, with her strategies for a flexible but firm routine in the first year.  Tracy Hogg’s infant routines can seem a bit rigid to some parents, but if you asked a little one, they don’t find reasonable routines (not rigid ones) to be strict.  Routines help little people know what to expect and when to expect it.  Trust me, the younger you are, the more it helps to use routines to communicate.  Without the ability to speak, babies can’t tell us what is going on for them either.  Knowing that a child is behaving inconsistently is an important way to see a leap in development or an emerging illness.  How else would you know that refusing to nurse is because of an actual problem instead of being overtired?  Without a baseline of regular behavior at regular times, it is much harder to see inconsistent reactions that signal distress once babies are more complicated.  And at 4 months and up, things get more complicated.

Take a look at the Baby Whisperer’s  E.A.S.Y. plans for eating, activity, sleep, time for you at different stages.  Beware of what she calls “accidental parenting”.  Dr. Karp does a nice job talking about this trap as well in his great book The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep but I think that Tracy Hogg gives more helpful hints on schedules and real-life baby day scenarios.  Accidental parenting is like John Lennon’s famous line “Life is what happens when you are busy doing other things.” Accidental parenting happens when the solution to a heat-of-the moment problem results in habits that cause bigger problems.

A good example is a young infant that is fussy and falls asleep nursing, and after a few nights of this super-easy way to get him to sleep, now cannot fall asleep any other way.  Why is this a problem?  Because when mom is at the store, this child is exhausted and unable to nap.  He also cannot sleep in his crib or anywhere else but on his mom.  This is not a child who is experiencing the warmth of connection:  this is a child who is uncomfortable unless he has exactly one situation and one alone.  He has accidentally been taught that there is only one way to settle and sleep, by the very people that want him to feel safe and calm in his own body anywhere.   That is the problem with accidental parenting.  The actions taken were a short-term fix for a problem, not a real long-term plan for greater peace and flexibility.

Both the Baby Whisperer and Dr. Karp have similar solutions for you if you have done some accidental parenting at this young age.  Again, I am going to say that Tracy Hogg gives you more details about the solutions, but they both have good ideas. The most important things to remember about their solutions:

  1. Have confidence that your future vision of calmness and your newly-found knowledge from these experts will work.  The current atmosphere is to distrust “authorities” of all stripes, but there are people that know their way around these early months.  If you distrust everyone, you are left hoping that your guess is the right one.
  2. Learn to read your child’s cues correctly.  They both give you information that can counter there frantic sense that there is no rhyme or reason to all that fussiness.  You can only interpret these cues if you know a lot about normal development and pay attention to your child over time.
  3. Expect change, and learn what the next stage is.  Everyone changes, but babies change fast.  A 6 week-old and a 6 month-old can be so very different.  That is only a difference of a few months but it is an eternity in infant development.  Stay on your toes and anticipate this.  You are the receiver and that child is the quarterback.  Pay attention and get ready for new signals.  Sorry to confuse those of you who don’t follow American Football.  But I think you get the general idea.  Anticipate change.
  4. Don’t expect an easy fix, and don’t waiver in your commitment.  The older the child, and the stronger their temperament, the longer a habit created from accidental parenting takes to shift.
  5. Get support, and don’t try a strategy that you really resist.  Forcing a child is not what routines are about, and if you need to tweak a strategy, then do it.  If you are the parent that can’t handle even a little fussing, then switch off to your partner to help your child realize that his distress about switching from nursing to sleep to sleeping another way is habitual and can change.  Because it can.
  6. Notice when you are unrealistic about what babies can manage, or if you are so uncomfortable with any fussiness that you are qualify as a victim of Tracy Hogg’s “poor baby syndrome”, in which you feel so guilty about any crying for any reason at all that you lose your wider view of what a child needs.

Accidental parenting is nothing to be ashamed of.  This parenting thing is hard, very hard, and everyone is doing their best.  I really believe that.  Habits can change, and things can go forward successfully with a different approach!

Sleep Training at 2 Months: Beyond Cry-It-Out

The Wall Street Journal’s writers are known for great reporting, but they clearly didn’t do a lot of research when they wrote today’s article Can You Sleep Train Your Baby at 2 Months?  Lots of agonizing parent reports of the cry-it-out method, and professional agreement that babies 8 weeks old don’t sleep through the night normally anyway.  They totally got it right that running and picking up a waking (but not screaming) baby is not going to teach good sleep habits, but there was no mention of pick-up/put-down, using Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s for deepening sleep in newborns, not even the use of swaddling to build a precious extra hour of sleep!

Parents who do not know how to handle the screaming and/or want to develop good sleep habits will go away from this article wondering if they can truly hack listening to an infant scream for the common “30-40” minutes.  What a mistake!!  Crying like that doesn’t do anyone any good.  It isn’t good for a baby or a parent, and can lead an exhausted and demoralized parent down the path to desperation, including falling asleep on the couch holding a baby (a documented suffocation or fall risk), feeding a baby large and frequent feedings to “sedate” them, or shaking that baby after nothing works.

Creating good sleeping behaviors in the first 3 months is completely possible and much easier to do than letting them scream.  But sleep at this age isn’t a full 8 hours, it isn’t done without creating a sleep environment that supports brain development at this age.  It takes some knowledge of baby development, some patience, and a willingness to accept that the techniques that work for a 3 year-old are ridiculous for a 3 month-old.  Apples and oranges, apples and oranges.

After a few years of being a Happiest Baby on the Block educator, I am becoming increasingly frustrated and discouraged with the situations I hear out in the world of baby calming.  My grandmother from the old country knew more about handling newborns than  most professionals with doctorate degrees!  Like the story of the elephant and the blind man, many of the professionals I meet are largely concerned with protecting their piece of the authority pie than helping babies and parents.   Researchers spend more time in universities and labs than out in the field, which is to say in people’s homes, calming babies themselves.  Yes, it really builds your skills if you have actually successfully calmed babies with your recommendations, not just assembled results of research studies.  This is not “anecdotal evidence”, my friends, this is real life experience.  Get some.

Parents, please, please, do not read the WSJ article and redouble your efforts at cry-it-out with young infants.  Read Dr. Karp’s book The Happiest Baby on the Block, watch his video, contact me or another certified educator, just do not think that this is all there is out there.

BTW, Dr. Karp’s book The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep will take you all the way into the kindergarten year, with good advice about toddlers and preschoolers!

 

The Informed Parent and Happiest Baby on the Block

I read The Informed Parent recently to decide whether it would be a good resource for my clients, and found that the chapters on The Art and Science of Baby Soothing, SIDS, and Sleep Training were worth reading.  This book distills a lot, a whole lot, of research that can confuse those parents who want some clarity in a sea of recommendations. The problem?  The authors, Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham, left me wanting for some good resources to offer parents once they have made their own conclusions about the available research.  They did do something wonderful for me as a Happiest Baby educator:  they included many, many research references to the 5 S’s that support the use of Dr. Karp’s techniques to calm newborns.  If you ever wondered whether swaddling is bad for your baby’s hips or whether pacifiers would help or hurt your chances of successful breastfeeding, the authors have some science-based answers for you.

As an example of what their book offers parents, the chapter on sleep training appeared to summarize all of the research findings by saying that bad sleepers aren’t necessarily disturbed or deficient.  The most helpful conclusion was that children whose parents were available to them emotionally during the bedtime period had fewer sleep disruptions. Parents might be feel less guilty but this won’t help anyone go to sleep.  If a parent is frustrated, tired, and distracted, and has an authoritarian approach to sleep: “Go to sleep NOW, because I said so!”, I believe that they are more likely to end up with a child that doesn’t want to go to sleep at bedtime, and screams for bottles or cuddles at 4 am.  But how exactly does this observation help anyone?  Perhaps there are parents that recognize themselves in that description and decide to change, but I suggest that most of us do not see ourselves as emotionally unavailable, even when we are.   My experience is that the parent-child pairs I have met who have an insecure-resistant mode of attachment (psych-speak for a child that desires parent contact but then reacts angrily or is resistant/fussy when given attention) are completely oblivious to how they contribute to their child’s behavior.   It is going to take more that a summary of scientific studies to have parents recognize the effect of their interactions on sleep problems.

I was disappointed that the authors included the “Purple crying” concept of Dr. Ronald Barr in their discussion of parents that shake a persistently crying infant.  Nothing in this  “approach” is scientific.  Telling parents that colicky crying is normal, but not offering more than “put the baby down and don’t shake him” is reprehensible when methods such as Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s  have actually helped so many families.  Of course shaking is never OK!  I really doubt that anyone that has had a screaming infant has ever felt that “knowing that crying is common and not abnormal” was very helpful.  What you want at that point to avoid doing something harmful is a solution, not a platitude.

Read The Informed Parent and let me know what was helpful and what just made you want some successful easy-to-use strategies for babies and toddlers!

To schedule a in-home training with me in the NYC metro area, or to buy a phone/video consult, visit my website and select the service that fits your needs.  

 

Active Baby? Active Mom? It May Be Epigenetics Again….

This week’s New York Times ran a story  Does Exercise During Pregnancy Lead to Exercise-Loving Offspring? that echoes what I told a mom last month during a Happiest Baby consult about how her behavior during pregnancy “taught” her son to love movement.  She is an athletic woman, a pediatric physical therapist, and her baby really didn’t calm down fully unless he was jiggled or swung.  He just craved movement.  I am not sure if she really bought my explanation about needing to recreate his womb environment to help him feel calm.  After all, she was just doing her normally active life while pregnant.  After delivery, she went back to work almost immediately.  He was laying at home in the pack n’play, trying to tell everyone (by being fussy at times) that he relaxed best by being more active too!

This article is a little complicated, and they spent a lot of time explaining rodent research.  The coolest part?  Much more of the totality of life “in utero” and immediately after birth might directly influence the DNA of a baby!  The authors did mention that this isn’t an opportunity to lay guilt on mothers, something that is done much too often.  Parents don’t need that.  This little article briefly highlights research that suggests the possibility that the entire experience of the pregnancy is important, not just prenatal vitamins and avoiding raw milk.

I wish, of course, that they had mentioned how important it is to understand the need to support newborns by providing the “4th trimester”, as Dr. Karp calls his amazing baby calming techniques.  It is entirely possible that lots of babies progressively need less movement as they develop other ways to self-calm.  And some may have had their DNA tweaked so that they simply can’t wait to get up and move.  Right from the start.

I told the mom at her consult that she had better prepare for her son joining a travel team in the future.  But knowing her, I think she will be totally OK with that!

Baby Wearing For Better Infant Sleep

Most parents use carriers/wraps for two reasons:  practical and personal. But did you know that wearing your baby can also help your newborn sleep better?

Being able to carry your baby allows you to have both hands available. Baby wearing is an intimate connection that parents usually enjoy.  Babies feel their parent’s heartbeat and listen to their voice, just like before birth.  Before I tell you how this improves sleep, here is some practical information about safety and carrier/wrap choices.

Wearing your newborn safely is essential.  Always make sure that you can see their face and that their head is not tilted forward so far that they cannot easily breathe.  An older baby can turn their head but a newborn cannot, especially against gravity.  Never lean forward without holding your baby, and never lean near a flame or burner.

My favorite manufactured carrier is the Ergobaby system.  It is well-crafted and the insert is designed to safely support newborns.  Using slings and wraps is just fine, but it is a bit more challenging to get newborns in the right position and keep them there.  Totally possible, and there are parents that are amazingly good at the traditional sling wrap styles.  I don’t take sides in the carrier/wrap debates.  Use what works for your family.

Carriers/wraps allow your baby to experience all the movement stimulation that he got in the womb.  Babies calm to the jiggle-style swinging of the Happiest Baby on the Block for a very similar reason.  It feels amazingly familiar to them! When you wear your baby, they get so much more variety and variation in movement than just using an infant swing.  No wonder they love being carried long after you have discontinued infant swing use (usually 2-3 months of age.)  This movement is stimulating their balance system, and we all need a dose of movement input to feel good.  To sleep well, we need to have had enough, but not too much, vestibular stimulation.  Baby wearing combines movement plus some deep pressure and warmth from being wrapped against an adult to deliver an almost perfect dose of sensory input.  As a pediatric occupational therapist, this makes so much sense.

Wear your newborn safely, use all the other S’s from Happiest Baby on the Block, and you may be able to extend his sleep periods.  The gift that keeps on giving!

 

Will Swaddling Affect Newborn Sleep?

The short answer?  It almost always gives them a slightly longer sleep cycle.  The longer answer:  many babies need more than a good swaddle to add that extra hour or so to their sleep cycle.

Interestingly enough, research and the American Academy of Pediatrics have suggested that swaddling makes a newborn’s sleep lighter.  Lighter isn’t necessarily worse.  Stomach sleeping is often deeper sleeping.  The risk for stomach sleeping is that if their nose and mouth are pressed into the mattress, they can’t or won’t turn their heads to breathe. That is why SIDS prevention guidelines say they should never sleep on their stomachs.  As a health professional, you know where I come out on that argument.  Be smart and use effective techniques for good sleep rather than use a risky move in sleep-deprived desperation.  It may be the action you regret for the rest of your life.

So if you swaddle and back-sleep and still have a fussy newborn, what do you do?  You layer on the love; those other moves from The Happiest Baby that soothe newborns and let them sleep.  That means that using the pacifier/soothing nursing, swinging, white noise are more important for sleep.

I just did a consultation with a family whose 6 week-old is already a tribute to his athletic, high-energy mom.  He calms best with movement, lots of it.  That isn’t a problem, or a sign of anything bad, but it means that to get him to sleep on his back they are going to have to give him more movement to lull him almost fully asleep before putting him down. They may even need to use the swing, filly reclined and belted in, at a higher speed for sleep.  There was some chatter about him getting “addicted” to it, but the good news is that the need for speed decreases as brain development increases. I recommended that he get some practice with the pacifier ( see my June 4, 2015 post on how to use and wean pacifiers) and that they use the harsher white noise.  It may be too soft or too far away to have enough of an effect for him.  She should, however, be prepared to sign him up for a travel team in about 10 years!

If you would like more support with your newborn but you don’t live in the NY metro area, visit my website, tranquilbabies.com, and purchase a phone or video consultation session.

Baby Nursing For Only a Few Minutes Then Fussy? Use the 5 S’s to Settle And Focus your Newborn To Feed, Not Just to Sleep

I was wandering around baby blogs (I always like to see what other writers are saying!) and stumbled onto a sleep consultant’s post about the “cluster feeding” pattern.  These babies nurse/feed briefly then become fussy without a good reason (diaper change, illness of some kind, lack of sleep), and get hungry soon afterward.  These newborns could really use the Happiest Baby techniques to quickly settle down and have a full meal followed by a long nap.  Here is what happens when newborns get stuck into a pattern of snacking, and how to turn this ship around using Happiest Baby strategies.

Healthy newborns really can fill up when they nurse or bottle feed.  The maximum amount that they take in is largely a function of how big their tummies are. There are the babies that need to be tickled and encouraged to stay awake long enough to finish a feed, but this post is about the newborns that are alert and hungry, then just take in enough to not be famished.  They get fussy and lose their focus on eating, only to be hungry for another “snack” in an hour.  Those babies aren’t getting as many deep-sleep cycles as they need for growth, and they are developing habitual patterns that drain the whole family.  Their lactation consultant may recommend more frequent nursing, only to get the same pattern of behavior.  Parents may ask their pediatrician for a work-up for reflux or another disorder, only to be told that everything is OK.   They aren’t relieved to hear this, because their day-to-day existence is far from “OK.”

Babies that don’t sleep and feed well might not be ill, but they are more likely to develop sleep and mealtime issues as these patterns progress over time.  Breastfeeding babies aren’t getting the delicious and nutritious combo of “foremilk” at the beginning of nursing, and the “hindmilk” as they empty a breast.  (If you aren’t aware of their different qualities, ask your lactation consultant.)  The parents of fussy feeders can feel that they have failed, or become depressed from the ongoing stress and exhaustion.

When I have been asked to help parents like these learn the 5 S’s of The Happiest Baby, I know that I can offer real strategies to change this situation.  When parents use swaddling, shushing, side/stomach calming (not sleeping), sucking, and swinging, it isn’t just for good sleep.  The 5 S’s get babies calm and alert faster and longer than anything else I have ever tried.  Babies need to be calm and focused to nurse well.  They eat more, then sleep longer.  They wake hungry for another good meal, and their fussiness can be soothed with the Happiest Baby techniques. Longer feedings allow newborns to be satisfied for a longer time, not just eating enough to be not ravenous.  It can take a few days for parents to alter a newborn’s pattern of behavior , but as soon as they see a baby with a full belly sleep for a few hours, and they repeat it, I get a grateful call or e-mail.

I am going to repeat my simple and practical point again: babies need to be calm and focused to nurse well.  Learning how to calm a baby and help them focus on feeding is valuable.  Happiest Baby techniques help babies calm down quickly.   The 5 S’s are not just for sleep.  Not even close.

 

 

 

Safe Sleep Guidelines Don’t Give Parents Enough Support

I just downloaded the entire American Academy of Pediatrics’ Technical Report-SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Expansion of Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment.   It was a large file to read, but the bottom line for me was this:  they must not have any sense what it is like to be a new parent, and maybe not what it is like for practicing pediatricians.  In other words, they say what to do and what not to do to prevent SIDS, but don’t mention how to accomplish any of it in the world of actual babies and parents, where crying and sleeping is real, not theory.  No wonder parents don’t follow the guidelines.  Without useful strategies and simple explanations, most parents wouldn’t be willing to follow their recommendations for very long.  In my opinion, the most difficult guidelines for parents are the instructions to only place newborns on their backs to sleep, and not to have a baby sleep in the bed on on the parent.  Babies should be in the room, but not in the bed, with an adult.  Simple, right?  Not.

Sleep-deprived new parents are struggling to comprehend all the things they should and shouldn’t do.  Defensive driver classes say that lack of sleep makes you drive like you are drunk.  Why should we expect the parents of newborns who get 5 hours of sleep a day to think clearly?  Because they aren’t behind the wheel?  An exhausted parent isn’t just tired.  They are less capable of judging what is safe and how to follow their pediatrician’s general recommendations.    They are going to let a 4 week-old sleep in the car seat for over 30 minutes because he slept poorly last night, pick him up from his “tummy time” right away when he cries because they are so frazzled, and use a positioning wedge in the crib.  They will be afraid to use a pacifier at 5 weeks, and will abandon swaddling when they can’t get it snug.   I can’t blame them one bit.  Babies aren’t simple.  Their crying when they are put down rips a parent apart.  No one knows how to deal with newborns without some help.

Not letting your baby sleep on you or next to you, and only placing a baby to sleep on his back means that a parent needs to be shown other good sleep strategies that leave both parties comforted and calm.  Pediatricians know that back sleepers show initial delays in motor control that disappear by 18 months on average, but generally offer no other suggestions than to “do some tummy time.” There are some great methods to make Safe to Sleep successful, but the AAP doesn’t share any specific baby management secrets (if they have them.)

The New York Times ran a story in 2005 that made me stop in my tracks before I finished reading it.  They reported on the increase in parents placing their babies on their backs to sleep after hearing about the Safe to Sleep protocol from professionals.  Turns out, their newborns had a hard time sleeping in this position.  It is well known that many babies don’t sleep as deeply or as long in this position, and for some simple reasons.  Their random arm movements wake them, they turn their heads and motor reflexes wake them, and they traded the firm support of the womb for the feeling of floating in space on a bassinet mattress.  Who could sleep well like that?

The NYT author quoted a parent that suggested that her NICU nurses encouraged stomach sleeping on discharge, even though they had to tell her officially not to do so.  A Manhattan newborn care instructor was quoted saying that “the role of a professional is to say these are the recommendations and this is why.  The role of the parent is to think critically and apply those recommendations in a way that makes their life manageable.”

I see things differently.  Professionals should anticipate the need to provide practical strategies when they teach their lifesaving guidelines.  Expecting exhausted parents to “think critically and apply these recommendations” is asking much too much from well-meaning but tired and vulnerable people.  It just seems very unfair for pediatricians to know full well how hard those first few months are, and yet not be more practically helpful.

Then again, they may not have any direct experience or even know what to do with a baby after a checkup or a treatment.  After all, they treat medical problems.  SIDS is a medical problem. Sleeping, calming and caring for babies isn’t really a medical problem.

If doctors or other professionals are not able to provide real-life instruction in ways to make the Safe to Sleep program successful in the real world, they should have resources to offer to parents. As a Happiest Baby educator and a pediatric occupational therapist, I wish that every parent had the ability to learn how to use Dr. Karp’s amazing baby calming and sleep techniques from me, and how to carry and hold their babies to develop good head control.  I wish I could show every parent how to make “tummy time” fun and easy.  I write this blog in order to reach out to parents with love and support.  They don’t have as many resources as they deserve.

 

Are Babies Addicted to White Noise? Yes….and No

White noise helps colicky newborns calm and sleep.  It can help newborns develop essential self-calming skills in the first 3 months of life.  It can help older babies tolerate teething and their first colds.  It can even help babies transition to a shared bedroom with a toddler sibling.  The magic of white noise is not lost on Happiest Baby on the Block educators.  Every time I am asked if using white noise will create an addiction, I think to myself “Deeper, longer sleep patterns are an addiction most of us should have!”  Here is why parents should add white noise to their bedtime plan, and how to calm their fears of creating a “white noise addict”.

White noise is part of the 5 S’s: the five steps in The Happiest Baby on the Block plan to quickly calm a newborn and one of the 4 that you can use for sleep.  You cannot use the side/stomach positioning for sleep.  It is only for calming.

When you use white noise at the right volume and at the right frequency, it creates a barrier to the noise a child makes when he cries and to the household sounds of doors closing and siblings talking.  Newborn hearing isn’t as developed as the hearing skills of an older baby, so the standard white noise machines are often giving you less harsh and higher frequency sounds than newborns need.  This is not as effective.

What I see when a parent has been using another white noise source is that the child is not falling asleep quickly and is not fully in deep sleep.  Some parents tell me that they think he wakes more often because he needs to nurse frequently, but this pattern often makes me suspect that he is child who isn’t sleeping deeply enough so when he wakes he wants to suck to pull himself back to sleep.  The clue?  He only nurses for a tiny,super-short time and conks out.  That, my friends, is not a hungry newborn.  The hungry ones really get into it (nursing) and fill up. Take a look at Accidental Parenting at 4 Months: Out Of The Swaddle And Into The Frying Pan to see what can happen if a good routine with a plan for aging out of the 5 S’s is forgotten.

Take a listen to the “shower” or “hairdryer” sounds on Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby tracks on iTunes to get a sense of what really works for newborns.  Older babies and children can calm down with the standard white noise machine offerings.

White noise is the one “S” from THBOTB that you never have to remove.  You can load it on a phone and use it whenever and wherever.  If you are worried about creating a child than cannot sleep without it, then take a look at your entire sleep plan.  Babies that are inadvertently taught that they have to be held to go to sleep, or they should fall asleep nursing,  will cling to that white noise more because they have not yet developed age-appropriate self-calming skills.  Yes, you start this before 12 months old!  Try to build those self-calming skills and diminish a baby’s sense that good sleep requires another human.  I know, it sounds nice to be so needed and it seems so loving, but the most loving thing we do is help children build the skills so that they have the choice to connect or be independent.  If a child has no ability to calm themselves, then he is not making the choice to cuddle.  He is desperate for the only way he knows to feel better. Without it, he is lost, frightened and struggling.

“Wings and roots” from the very beginning means teaching self-calming skills.  This does not diminish a child’s love for a parent.  It is the other way around.  Parents are the people who show a child how to be powerful and cheer their independence at every turn.  That creates a bond that is strong and flexible at the same time.  It only grows stronger and is less likely to fray during the toddler and teen struggles.

To decrease a child’s use of white noise, all you have to do now is lower the volume a little at a time, or start out sleep with white noise then turn it off.  After a few days, don’t start the bedtime routine with white noise, and see how things go.  A word of advice:  never shift a bedtime routine when other routines are also shifting.  Those shifts include:  parents returning to work, siblings returning to school, holidays, toddler roommate toilet training, etc.  Changing so much in their world at the same time is asking a lot of a baby.

Want more information or answers to your questions?  Visit my website tranquil babiesand purchase an in-home session (in the NY Metro area) or a phone/video consultation.  You will get a chance to discuss your unique situation and receive new ideas you can try tonight!

 

The Safest Crib Bumper Might Be Deeper Sleep

Most pediatricians will tell you to avoid all crib bumpers.  The American Academy of Pediatrics feels that no bumper is 100% safe. They discourage parents from using even the most breathable mesh fabric, tied onto your child’s crib.  I totally believe parent reports that a baby that isn’t swaddled can get a limb caught over the bumper edge or, worse yet, under a poorly designed bumper.  Babies move in their sleep.  What is the answer?

I wish there was a perfect solution that works for everyone.  Some babies sleep well in a sleep sack, but they can still theoretically get an arm stuck under a bumper.  Most sacks don’t restrict arm movement as much as the legs and feet.  Babies move more when they are in the lighter phases of a sleep cycle, or when they awaken from sleep.  Some “breathable” crib bumpers are not well constructed, with longer or fewer ties, leading to entanglement or the risk of strangulation.  A mesh bumper that crushes might still allow a child to get a limb under or over it.  Bumpers that don’t tuck under the mattress are even more likely to allow a little leg to poke under the bumper.

One potential answer?  Keep them in deeper sleep longer by using the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques.  Going beyond the swaddle delivers far more than just faster calming.  You are using layers of calming input that keep babies from spending too much time awake or in the light sleep phase.  Happiest Baby educators like myself are amazed that parents think Dr. Karp’s program is just about swaddling.  Doing a good swaddle is great, but it is only one of 5 essential tools in The Happiest Baby on the Block.  Knowing how to use all these techniques effectively for safe sleep is a huge reason why parents request personal consultations with me instead of just running out for a swaddle blanket.

White noise, sucking and swaddling are your Happiest Baby moves to help babies to stay in that deep-sleep phase (the one where you really can change a diaper and they don’t move a muscle) and jump back into it faster if they do wake after a diaper change or a feeding.  The longer and more frequently your baby is in deep sleep, the less she will move when in the crib.  Older babies that are rolling can do the step-down swaddle without arms inside, or use the sleep sacks that have velcro trunk compression for cozy deep pressure.  It is this 4 to 18 month-old phase of development when the “shush” of white noise and sucking help so much to send babies back into deep sleep, and prevent them from coming out of sleep with household noises or their own curiosities.

Toddlers can usually get themselves unstuck without your help, so by 24 months your concerns will shift to whether or not he can climb out of the crib by himself!

 

The Difference Between “The Hold” and The Happiest Baby on the Block? Sleep

I love it when baby calming is in the news!  This week “the hold”, pediatrician Dr. Robert Hamilton’s method for calming newborns, received a lot of attention.  I watched the video, just like a few million parents and professionals.  Then I thought about how this fits in with The Happiest Baby techniques that I am certified to teach.  The biggest difference I see is that The Happiest Baby techniques provide parents with more tools to support fussy newborns all day and all night.

I think “the hold” probably works very well with the 50% of babies that are relatively easy to calm.  It has the right moves to give calming vestibular input, inhibit the startle reflex, and uses the prone (stomach) positioning to soothe a newborn quickly.  The Happiest Baby on the Block adds the lasting calming and neutral warmth of the swaddle, the suck, and the “shush” to layer on the love for better feeding and sleeping, and keeps it going over time.  That is where this technique, in my opinion, gives parents more helpful tools than “the hold”.

The Happiest Baby on the Block isn’t just for calming fussiness.  It gets newborns nice and calm, and keeps them there for longer sleep.  Sleep for everyone, parents included.  Calming a baby super-fast, but not helping her to get to sleep quickly and to stay asleep through multiple sleep cycles/noises, isn’t going to make the life-changing difference that the 5 S’s can make for newborns.  Especially for the fussiest babies that really need all 5 moves (swaddle, swing, suck, shush and stomach/side positioning) to get calm and stay there.

I know; saying that this is life-changing is pretty dramatic.  If you are a sleep-deprived and frantic new parent, sleep is what you desperately want, not just calming.  Getting a newborn to sleep an extra hour or so at a time is not magic, it is The Happiest Baby On The Block at it’s best!

I forgot to mention how heavy a 9-pound screaming child could feel when you do “the hold”.  Raising a newborn up in the air with just your hands  isn’t as easy as it looks for some women.   Hormonal changes in pregnancy will loosen our ligaments in our pelvis, our wrists and our hands as well.  I have a suspicion that dads will be the ones doing “the hold” more often than moms if a baby needs calming a few times a day!