Category Archives: infant sleep strategies

New Baby? Exhausted? Try The 5 S’s To Pull Things Together

 

 

annie-spratt-178364New parents are often shocked at how tired they are.  After all, newborns don’t DO much.  They eat, sleep, pee and poop, and that is about it.  But they do it around the clock and they aren’t very experienced with any of it.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s can help all of you learn more and get some sleep.

Not because the 5 s’s give babies exactly what they had in the womb.  They do, but what swaddling, swinging, sucking, etc provide is a roadmap for how baby nervous systems work.  Once you know that babies need this, not that, you feel more in control of the situation and you can relax.  And babies that have been calmed down faster and more effectively feel that you get them, you really get them.  They sense that their parents can help them better than their aunties and neighbors.  Feeing understood starts here.

 

colin-maynard-231363

When babies stop crying faster sleep an hour or so longer (yes, doing the 5 S’s can do that!) and eat/nurse more easily, life is less exhausting.  Not completely a day at the beach, but not as tough as it was before.  For more information, take a look at Help Your Newborn Adjust to Daycare By Using Happiest Baby on the Block Strategies and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.

Wishing all you new parents a wonderful first year!!!

Advertisements

Why You Still Need the 5S’s, Even If You Bought a SNOO

 

 

ID-100108085

Want peace?  Of course you do!

OK, I won’t make you wait to get the answer to this question:  your newborn won’t spend all day, every day, in the SNOO!  Don’t know what the SNOO is?  The SNOO smart sleeper was designed by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp as a bassinet that uses many of his fabulous Happiest Baby on the Block techniques to soothe your newborn for sleep.  It effectively quiets and calms newborns with the touch of a button (almost).

After seeing what the SNOO can do, you may WANT to leave her there all day, peacefully dozing away.  That isn’t a reality for most parents.  After the first few weeks, and sometimes earlier than that, you will want or need to take your little bundle out of the SNOO and out of your home.  You may visit your parents, go shopping, go to the park with older children, etc.  Uh-oh!  The SNOO can’t come with you!  Oh, and by the way, leaving your little one in any device with her head against a surface for too many hours of the day places her at risk for “positional plagiocephaly”.  Yes, giving your child a flattened skull.  The same cranial bones that are malleable enough to slide through the birth canal can be deformed by letting a child lie in one position too long.  So no, you cannot leaver her in the SNOO all day long!

We know that the agitated screaming that is called colic starts on average at 2 weeks after the due date, and peaks around 6-7 weeks of age.  For the great majority of babies, serious digestive problems and other medical issues aren’t the reason for all that crying.  Babies are often just too little to be able to handle the complexity of post-uterine life in those first few months.  Combine individual temperament, limited brain development, and the big shift to the external world’s demands, and their tiny nervous systems get overwhelmed and they end up screaming.  Loudly, and often for a long, long time.  Parents get exhausted and discouraged.  The SNOO does provide the neuro-developmental needs these tiny babies have so they can calm down.    But asking the SNOO to solve your baby’s problems all day long is going to mean that you will have to be tethered to it for months!

Thank goodness you don’t have to!  Before he developed the SNOO, Dr. Karp created the 5 S’s  New Baby? Exhausted? Try The 5 S’s To Pull Things Together.  Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s are what will save your sanity when you pop him out of the SNOO and take your show on the road.  Knowing how to swaddle, shush, swing, use sucking and the side/stomach positioning (for calming, not sleep) will make your whole day better and more flexible.  I teach the Happiest Baby concepts in classes and in individual consultations, and I think that every parent should learn the 5S’s and buy the SNOO.

If the SNOO’s steep price tag has you hesitating, then you definitely need to learn the 5 S’s.  Get the video or go to a class.  But don’t think that you are a bad parent or that your baby is in trouble because of all that crying.  Most newborns are just fine; they just need your help to pull themselves together until they are old enough and skilled enough to do it themselves.  Learn to give your baby what she needs, and you all can sleep a little bit better this week!

 

Looking for more information on the 5 S’s and helping your baby calm for sleep and feeding?  Take a look at Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness and Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled.  As a nationally certified Happiest Baby educator, I love to help parents learn what their little one needs to settle down and make that “fourth trimester” transition!

colin-maynard-231363

Help Your Newborn Adjust to Daycare By Using Happiest Baby on the Block Strategies

ID-100108085.jpgReturning to work soon after delivery can mean putting your 3-month old in daycare.  As challenging as this can be emotionally, it can also be a struggle for your baby, especially if her only self-calming strategy has been nursing.  Should you (or could you) quit your job or just tough it out?  There is another alternative:  teach your little one to respond to  a wider variety of self-calming cues.

Self-calming at 3 months?  Well, yes and no.  Babies at this age are learning to respond to messages that we send.  This is the very beginning of self-regulation.  Actions and sensory inputs that tell their nervous system ” You are safe”, “It’s time to sleep” and “I get it; you need a little more help to calm down and I know what to do”.  They aren’t able to devise  their own solutions yet, but they can begin to self-calm if we read their behavior correctly and understand what they need developmentally and neurologically.  This is where Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block strategies, and his other great sleep solutions, can save your sanity and your child’s sleep.  Many of the 5 S’s that worked so well in the first 12 weeks of life can be adjusted to support this transition into daycare.

The weeks between 3 months and 6 months are almost the 5th trimester (Dr. Karp refers to the first 3 months of life as the “4th trimester”).   I think it is a bridge period in which babies need more help to calm down than many realize.  At this age, they suck their fingers to self-soothe while awake.   But… they aren’t strong enough to keep their hands or their thumbs in their mouth when they are lying down and falling asleep.  Gravity pulls those heavy hands down to the crib mattress. They don’t babble their way to sleep the way a 6 month-old does, and they are barely ready to listen to lullabies. So what can you do?  Be creative and use the 5 S’s as a launching point for your new routines.

Swaddling may not be as effective, or even safe, at this stage.  Babies who are rolling could be strong enough to roll onto their bellies.  With their arms swaddled, they are at risk for suffocation.  Once your baby is in that “I’m gonna practice this rolling thing all day” stage, swaddling becomes more of a risk than a solution.

There are swaddle garments that convert to safer solutions for this stage.  The garments that still give firm pressure over the chest but leave legs and arms free are specifically designed to keep that nice calm feeling going.  They allow your child to roll freely.  Dr. Karp also suggests that swaddling in an infant swing is another safe choice for those babies that are experimenting with rolling but still need swaddling to pull it all together.  REMEMBER:  your baby needs to be put into the swing calm, and securely strapped in.  If she is too big for the swing, then don’t use it.  Just because it is calming for her is not a reason to use a too-small swaddling blanket or a tiny infant swing.

Pacifiers are recommended by both Dr. Karp and the American Academy of Pediatrics, but some babies don’t love them, and some parents are afraid of creating a paci addict.  For those nervous parents, I wrote a special post: Prevent Pacifier Addiction With A Focus on Building Self-Calming Without Plastic.  The truth is that sucking is a normal developmentally-appropriate self-calming behavior, and addiction really doesn’t become an issue until your child has nothing else that works at all.

Between 3-6 months, your little one is still benefitting from sucking, and she can learn to use a paci in daycare.  She isn’t at risk of nipple confusion, unlike a 2 week-old, and she won’t reject your breast because of paci use.  Nursing is the total package of love, warmth and nutrition.  If she says “no more” to nursing, it is likely that she would have done so without the paci.  Some babies are just ready to be done early.  Use Dr. Karp’s paci learning technique to teach a baby how to handle a paci and keep it in her mouth.  By 3 months, she has strong oral muscles, so it is a matter of practice and helping her to realize how handy pacis can be to calm a bit for sleep.  If she spits it out while asleep….well, mission accomplished!

White noise is the one HBOTB strategy that never needs to end.  But for these little guys, the new noises of daycare are so different from home that this may be the secret weapon.  Dr. Karp sells his carefully designed white noise CD.  It can be loaded onto a phone as well from iTunes. Select the track that matches your child’s state (crying, drowsy  and calm, etc.) and watch the magic begin.  Encourage your daycare to use this totally safe method of soothing.

Rocking a baby in your arms can replace the infant swing, and some older newborns still calm down when held on their sides or stomach.  Again, this is never a sleep position, just a calming position.  But if it works for your baby, feel free to use it when you hold her.

Once you have created an updated HBOTB routine that works, share it with the daycare staff.  You may find that they have rules and regulations, and some staff aren’t open to new ideas.  My suggestion is to emphasize how easily you can get her calm.  Even the most rigid care provider’s ears perk up when she thinks that there is a way to make her job easier.  These people work long hours and work hard.  Think of this as helping her and your little one have a better day!

Successful Swaddling May Take More Layers of Calmness

ferris-wheel

Newborn crying can make you feel like you are on a ferris wheel; around and around you go!

Swaddling is a skill, but it is also an art.  Once you have your little one snug as a bean burrito, they don’t always stop crying right away.  When I teach parents the 5 S’s as part of a Happiest Baby on the Block consultation or class, I try very hard to explain that most children need more layers of love.  Parents aren’t doing it wrong if they keep crying, and babies aren’t resisting the swaddle.  They just need more support because they have little brains and few experiences in this world.  Once you figure out what combo of moves your child needs, you have success!

Once you have done a good-enough swaddle, use the side or stomach-down calming move right away.  As a pediatric occupational therapist, this is my favorite, since it is using the neurology of the vestibular (balance) system to help your child chill out.  Really.  They aren’t thinking  “Gee, I love the view in this direction”, or ” I am much calmer looking at the floor”.  Their brain is getting some calming signals from their inner ear, diminishing that arching from the Startle Reflex and helping them pull together.  Try both positions, and make little adjustments in the exact tilt.  Everyone’s brain is a little different, so your child might need side-plus-slightly face-down to hit that calm point.

Think of it like this:  when you sleep, why do you think people curl up on their sides?  Because the bed is too short?  It is relaxing, naturally relaxing, to many people.  No one told them to sleep that way, they just do.  The number of back sleepers is far fewer, yet pediatricians insist on back sleep for safety and give you no idea how to convince your child to chill in this position.  That seems unfair, but then, many pediatricians aren’t baby care experts, they are baby health experts.  We just want them to be.

Now you can do all the gentle swinging, shushing and sucking layers you learned in Happiest Baby.  They all work well, and you will quickly learn which one is the most powerful for your unique little baby.  As your child grows, the layers aren’t as needed as much, but you may find that one of them really makes a difference.  Often it is the white noise of shushing.  Now you know why.  It’s their neurological sleep signal.

Sweet dreams, and remember to layer it on!

Why Doesn’t Swaddling Alone Calm Newborns?

I attended a local function last night, and this question was on my mind as parents recounted their experiences with newborns and calming.  They thought that they were doing the swaddling wrong.  Or that their child was abnormal.  Not likely.  They just didn’t realize that for most babies, swaddling alone doesn’t do the deal.

As a certified Happiest Baby educator, I am aware that there are a small percentage of babies that are so mellow that they might not even need a swaddle.  These newborns just eat, poop, pee and sleep.  Anywhere, any time.  Having such a baby feels like winning the lottery.  It is, and it is almost as rare.  Dr. Karp estimates the percentage of “easy” babies as somewhere between 5 and 15%.  Enjoy it, but do not think that baby #2 will be the same.  It isn’t inherited, or your divine guidance, or that your husband is a gem.  You got lucky.

Most babies are in between as far as temperament and fussiness, and need at least some of the 5 S’s.  Swinging, sucking, side/stomach positioning (to calm only), shush-ing, and the swaddle.  They are only occasionally fussy, and it is clear to you what they need after you know the Happiest Baby moves.

And then there are the babies that he classifies as “spirited”.  You know if you have one of these.  Peals of joy, but also screams that could make the sheetrock fall off the walls.  If they are hungry, you’d think they were being starved.  If they are tired, they are hysterical.  If you don’t pick them up in time, they make it clear that you will rue the day you do that again.  They are not possessed, they are expressing a combo of lack of self-calming skills, a really immature brain, and a fiery temperament.  You need to do all the moves of Happiest Baby, and do them right.  I can help.  Read more of my posts, get Dr. Karp’s DVD, and practice the moves until you could teach my classes.

So, swaddling does work, it just isn’t the end of the story for most babies.  If you have a baby for whom swaddling isn’t enough, don’t give up.  Take a class, get a consultation from me or another educator, and don’t worry that a screaming newborn means a lifetime of this rollercoaster!

Why Some Newborns Look Like They Hate To Be Swaddled

Yes, I said it.  Some babies scream louder after you swaddle them, and parents assume that this means that they are horrified of being restricted.  This is usually far from the truth, but you have to know a little bit about newborn neurology to understand why this is likely not to be a case of protesting imprisonment and more a request for more layers of calming.

For 9 months, a newborn has been living in a tighter and tighter space.  Baby bumps get bigger, but the uterus can only expand so far.  At the end of pregnancy, babies are a snug fit.  Really snug.  They aren’t uncomfortable, and in fact, swaddling is replicating the whole-body firm hug that they know so well.  It is diminishing the shock of the Moro (startle) reflex that scares them and makes them cry more.  It keeps them at a consistent temperature, just like the womb.

So why do some of them scream more right after you swaddle them?  Well, some babies are sensitive little souls, the kind that cry with new noises, too much talking, or even when their digestion “toots” a little or they get very hungry.  They can go straight from happy to upset after too much activity, too much socializing, or too much interaction.  By the end of the day, they are at the end of their ability to handle life.  This can be partly temperament, their unique way of interacting with the world.  It can also be that their nervous system is still very immature, and they are taking a while to develop self-calming.  That is not a medical problem.  Every baby is new at this life-after-womb thing.  Some babies just need a little more time living like they did for 9 months, cozy and comforted.

These babies need swaddling more than some others, but they find anything new to be a challenge.  Give them a chance to get used to it, and make sure that you are doing a good swaddle.  Check how toasty they are, by making sure that they are not sweating behind their neck or ears (if so, lighten up on layers and swaddle in light cotton).  They probably also need more than swaddling to pull it together.  If you haven’t read Happiest Baby on the Block or seen the DVD, you might not be aware that swaddling alone is not going to finish the job for sensitive kids.  Sucking, shushing, side or stomach positioning (for calming only) and swinging may all be needed to calm these babies down.

So for all those parents who think that their baby is the one that hates swaddling, I encourage you to make sure that your technique is solid, your blanket or swaddle garment fits correctly, and that you layer on the love moves with more than a swaddle to calm your little one!

 

First Father’s Day? You Might Be the Best Baby Calmer In The House

Fathers are often the partners that jump right into practicing the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques.  They “shush” loud and long, they do the quick jiggle (for swinging) with enthusiasm, and they can usually use just one arm to support a newborn on it’s side to calm them.  Moms are in awe of their guy who couldn’t stand to change a diaper and was too nervous to even hold that baby a few weeks ago.  Go, Daddy!

Women do not have the corner on the comforting market.  Yes, they can nurse a baby to calm them, but not every fussy baby is a hungry baby.  Men can be a warm, yet rock-solid, source of physical comfort for children.  The Happiest Baby techniques seem more intense than a standard soft cuddle.  It’s because they are more intense.  Not dangerous in any way, but designed to give newborns a replication of the more sensory-rich womb experience .  Dr. Karp’s awareness of temperament and early development refine that basic concept to give newborns what they need to pull it together, get calm, and get some sleep.  Giving them more touch, more movement and more loud and steady white-noise sounds all together is the key.  The fact is that learning these techniques are new to moms as well helps a father not be intimidated by the “natural” knowledge of women.  The truth is that no one is born knowing what to do, and you can’t google it either.  The parents I teach are pretty much on a level playing field for this stuff.  And the men sometimes amaze me with their new skills.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who have stepped up their game, and mastered the easy way to calm their newborns!