Category Archives: book review

Raising a Gifted Child? Read “A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children” For Successful Strategies

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Raising a gifted child isn’t all rainbows and first place ribbons.  Especially in the early years, the intensity, drive and complexity that gifted children bring to the table can come out looking like bossiness, perfectionism and extreme sensitivity  How To Spot A Gifted Child In Your Preschool Class (Or Your Living Room!).  Many books try to explain why gifted individuals are challenging, but this book is unique. It is offering parents clear strategies to help their child thrive and help them navigate school and social activities with confidence.

A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children is written by four leaders in gifted education and research.  James Webb, PhD, was a strong supported of the gifted community and gifted children in particular.  The other authors; Janet Gore M.Ed., Edward Amend Psy.D and Arlene DeVries M.S.E., are all specialists in this area.  They offer useful information about both the benefits of giftedness and the challenges in every chapter.

This book is unique in many ways.  It offers solid parenting advice, not theories and research studies.  Gifted children are still children who require support, limits, education and love.   The authors are eager to give parents tools to make life at home and school easier.  Gifted kids can be misunderstood, teased or excluded. Dealing with this is not easy for any parent.  They even acknowledge that parents themselves may be criticized or mocked for advocating for their child’s needs.  The chapter on what to do if your child is twice-exceptional (for example, having a learning disability in addition to giftedness) address getting help for both skills and areas of challenge.  It also helps parents consider whether their child’s diagnosis is accurate.  Many characteristics of giftedness can be seen incorrectly as ADHD, bipolar illness or ASD.  Getting the right diagnosis is essential to maximizing your child’s abilities and happiness.

One aspect of giftedness that is rarely addressed in this much detail but is solidly reviewed here is the emotional sensitivity often seen at an early age.  This book spends considerable space on helping parents teach their gifted children how to handle frustration, perfectionism, and even existential depression.  What is that?  A child that can comprehend the level of danger and inequality in the world at a young age may not have the emotional ability to come to terms with this knowledge.  The authors do a terrific job of explaining the sources of  a gifted child’s pain and offer concrete advice to parents.

There is so much to say about the joys and the pitfalls of parenting gifted children of any age.  This book does an excellent job of helping families (and educators) see the road ahead and handle it well.

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Teens With Chronic Illness Or Disability Need A Good Guide: Read “Easy For You To Say”

bagas-vg-426755Being a tween or teen isn’t easy, but having a chronic physical illness or disability (not interchangeable) can make it extremely difficult.  Kids aren’t always great at asking for help or even answering questions, so this wonderfully useful book has done the groundwork for you.

Dr. Miriam Kaufman’s book Easy For You To Say is an easy-to read format of questions and answers that is accessible for teens to read and parents of teens will learn a tremendous amount as well.  She has a significant amount of experience with this subject, and has plenty of solid medical knowledge to back up her information.

As a physician, you will find that she includes a great deal of medical information, including medication lists related to teen concerns such as acne and sexual response and functioning.  These lists, of course, are dated the minute the book is published, but the general categories of drugs that have effects that concern teens is helpful as a starting point for discussions with a pediatrician or specialist.

This book isn’t just about the medical concerns that occur with physical illness and disability.  Dr. Kaufman covers the challenges of relationships of all kinds, and practical issues with school, work, and having fun as a teenager while dealing with significant issues.  This book doesn’t mince words but is unfailingly positive.  Kids (and parents of teens) really need that positivity while trying to launch into a life of more independence.  She is a strong proponent of self-advocacy that doesn’t become militant but is always life-affirming.  There is some discussion of higher education and career planning, which is so essential Career Planning for Teens with JRA, EDS, and Other Chronic Health Issues.

This book has it’s limitations.  It doesn’t address cognitive disabilities or psychiatric disabilities like living with bipolar illnesses, nor does it speak about ASD or SPD.  These issues can co-occur in the same teen, and it is then that you might want to think about what an OT has to offer.  This author doesn’t even mention us as helpful professionals that do more than, if you can believe it, help kids look at career options.  Perhaps she missed the class on what “occupation” really references.  Oh well.

As an occupational therapist, I wish my profession had been mentioned as a greater resource for disabled teens, but perhaps I should not be that surprised that it is left out.  Most physicians aren’t aware of how OTs can meaningfully assist kids past the Early Intervention years to enhance their functioning and learn both better skills and work-arounds to accomplish what they would like to do in life.  For example, her book speaks in great detail about the complications of mobility and coordination limitations during sexual activity.  Since just about every teen is curious about this subject, an occupational therapist could help them adapt their environment, equipment and movements to make this part of ADLs a success on many fronts.  Dr. Kaufman has a lot of ideas, but the specifics for each teen are going to be different, and that is where OTs shine.

This book should be on the shelf of most pediatric physiatrists, and most OTs.  It is now on mine!  If your child is no longer a child, I recommend “Life Disrupted” by Laurie Edwards.  This book covers the situations that young adults in their 20’s really need to figure out.  Specifically, learning how to craft a career, develop relationships and become independent when you are dealing with a chronic illness.  None of it is easy, but the author is both supportive and realistic.  I think that helps more than platitudes and positivity without, as Dr. Phil might say, putting verbs in the sentences.

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Construction Site on Christmas Night: A New Classic Is Born!

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Anyone that knows the board book Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site should run right out and get this one for next week.  OK, maybe you won’t be able to wait that long.   Read it when you get it home!  An absolutely read it before your young child goes to bed on Christmas Eve!  Santa will wait a little longer for his cookies and milk.

The graphics are just detailed enough, but not so complex that most 2 year-olds can’t figure out what is going on.  There is some repetition so they can keep up with the story, but older kids can follow the concepts of kindness and caring in relationships.  The rhyming text is terrific for kids learning phonics.   Rhyming has been working out well for audiences of all ages, even before Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter.  Works for me, too!  This is a fun book for parents to read out loud, which is good because you will be reading it over and over, night after night, long after the decorations are packed away.

The construction vehicles in the story end up building a new fire house for the fire engines, but they get some treats for themselves as well.  It is a happy story with a lot of warmth and a wonderful chance to talk about how good it feels to give.

Enjoy this fun little book during the holiday season!

A Great Toilet Training Book for Neurotypical Kids: Oh Crap Potty Training!

sean-wells-471209My readers know that I wrote an e-book on potty training kids with low tone ( The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived! ) but I have to admit, I learn a lot from other authors.  Jamie Glowacki  has written a terrific book that speaks clearly and directly to parents who aren’t sure they are up to the challenge of toilet training.  Oh Crap Potty Training is a funny title, but it is filled with useful ideas that help parents understand their toddler better and understand training needs so they can tackle this major life skill with humor and love.  I have to admit, I am really happy that she suggests parents of kids with developmental issues ask their OT for advice.  So few parents actually do!

Here are a few of her concepts that illustrate why I like her book so much:

  1. She gets the situation toddlers find themselves in:  using the potty is a total change in a comforting daily routine.  Jamie points out that since birth, your child has only known elimination into a diaper.  The older they are when you start training, the longer they have been using diapers.  WE are excited to move them on, but they can be afraid to sit, afraid to fail, and afraid of the certainty of the diaper always being there.  You can’t NOT get it in the diaper!  She also gets the power struggle that can be more enticing to an emerging personality after about 30 months of age.  Just saying, she gets it.
  2. Potty training success opens meaningful doors for kids, diapers keep them back.  Some great activities and some wonderful schools demand continence to attend.  By the time your child is around 3, they can feel inferior if they aren’t trained, but not be able to tell you.  They express it with anxiety or anger.  If you interpret it as not being ready, you aren’t helping them.
  3. Some kids will NEVER be ready on their own.  I know I am going to get some pushback on this one, and she already says she gets hate mail for saying it.  But there is a small subset of kids who will need your firm and loving direction to get started.   Waiting for readiness isn’t who they are.  If you are the parent of one of these kids, you know she’s right.  Your kid hasn’t been ready for any transition or change.  You have had to help them and then they were fine.  But this is who they are, and instead of waiting until the school makes you train her or your in-laws say something critical to your child, it might be OK to make things happen rather than waiting.
  4. You must believe that you are doing the right thing by training your child.  They can smell your uncertainty, and it will sink your ship.  She really sold me on her book with this one.  As a pediatric therapist, I know that my confidence is key when instructing parents in treatment techniques for a home program.  If I don’t know that I am recommending the right strategy, I know my doubt will show and nothing will go right.

If you are looking for some ideas on training kids of all stripes and needs, check out my posts  For Kids Who Don’t Know They Need to “Go”? Tell Them to Stand Up and Toilet Training For Preschool And Stuck in Neutral? Here’s Why…...  Of course, if your child has low muscle tone or hypermobility, my e-book will help you understand why things seem so much harder, and what you can do to make potty training a success!

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And She Rescues Him Right Back: An Early Reader For The Young Feminist

 

 

marc-zimmer-421611If you like the movie “Pretty Woman”, you will know this reference.  I have always been conflicted about this popular adult fairy tale, even though I adore the two stars and the clever screenplay.  In fact, I have wished at times that the roles were reversed.

Apparently, there is a children’s book for that (clean version).

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch is the story of a princess who rescues her prince from a dragon using intelligence, creativity, bravery, and humor.  Sort of like Nancy Drew, but in shorter book for younger children, with a dragon, and with more humor than Nancy usually displayed.  Nancy was spunky and smart, but she often had to get help from Ned to finish the deal.  Not this time.

A fun book for reading/comprehension levels K-2, the princess is the hero of the story for once.  In real life, we know that women are often the heroes at home and at work.  They just don’t get the recognition.  They do in this little book!  In fact, it could be the gateway to learning about Marie Curie and other real women who have done amazing things.

I think girls need to hear about themselves as heroes, and boys need to hear it too.  Kinda helps to balance out all the Grimm tales and the Marvel comics out there.  So take a look at this book and add it to your library!

The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone: Potty Training Help Has Arrived!

photo-1445800363697-51e91a1edc73  Toilet Training Help Has Arrived!             

My most popular post,  Why Low Muscle Tone Creates More Toilet Training Struggles for Toddlers (and Parents!) inspired me to write a manual to help parents with potty training.  There was nothing in books or online that really helped families, just a few lines about being patient and not pushing children….no help at all!

What makes this book so unique?  Media specialists say that you have to be able to explain your product in the time it takes for the average elevator ride.  OK, here is my elevator speech on The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone:

My book provides a complete explanation of the motor, sensory, and social/emotional effects that low muscle tone has on toilet training.  It does so without being preachy or clinical.  Parents understand whether their child is ready to train, and how to start creating readiness immediately.  They learn how to pick the right potty seat, the right clothes, and how to decide between the “boot camp” or gradual method of training.  A child’s speech delays, defiance or disinterest in potty training are addressed in ways that support families instead of criticizing them.

  • Each readiness quiz helps parents figure out what issues need to be addressed for successful training and reminds them of their child’s strengths.
  • Chapter summaries give a quick review of each section.  Parents decide which chapter they need to read next to get more information.
  • Clinical information is explained in layman’s terminology, so parents don’t have to Google “interoception” to understand the neurology that causes a child not to recognize that they have a full bladder.

Here’s what parents are saying about The Practical Guide”:

The Practical Guide has truly been heaven sent!  Although my globally delayed 5-year old daughter understood the idea of toileting, this skill was certainly not mastered.  Our consultations with Cathy and her guide on how to toilet train have given me the knowledge I’ve needed to understand low tone as a symptom that can be tackled.  Morgan has made visible advances, and I am so encouraged and empowered because I know what piece we need to work on next.  Thank you, Cathy, for writing this book!”      Trish C, mother of Morgan, 5 years old

“I would often say to myself “Cathy has to put all of her accumulated wisdom down into a book”.  I am happy to say-here it is!  You will find no one with more creative and practical  solutions.  Her insights and ideas get the job done!”     Laura D. H., mother of M., 4 years old 

Cathy has been a “go-to’ in every area imaginable, from professional referrals to toilet training.  I can’t say enough positive things about her.  She has been so insightful and helpful on this journey.”  Colleen S. mother of two special needs children

Want a bit of a preview?  Here is a small section from Chapter One: Are You Ready For Toilet Training?  Is Your Child?

Parents decide to start toilet training for three primary reasons.  Some families train in anticipation of an outside event, such as enrolling their toddler in a preschool that doesn’t change diapers.  Another example would be the impeding birth of a sibling  Parents who want to train their older child hope that they can avoid having two children in diapers, They do not expect to have the time and attention for training after their new baby arrives.

The second common reason to begin training is when their child achieves a skill that parents believe to be a precursor to successful toileting.  For example, when children learn a word or a sign for urination, adults may thing that they may finally be able to train them.  The final reason is when school staff or their peditriaicna recommends that they start training.  whatever your reason, you are reading this book because you are wondering if you and/or your child could be ready for toilet training.

These are the eight types of toileting readiness: 

  1. Financial
  2. Physiological
  3. Communication 
  4. Cognitive 
  5. Social/emotional 
  6. Clothing Management
  7. Time and Attention
  8. Appropriate Equipment

How can you find my book?  Three ways:  Visit my website  tranquil babies and click on “e-book” at the top of the homepage, buy it on Amazon, or visit your therapy source, a wonderful site for parents and therapists.  Just search for The Practical Guide to Toilet Training Your Child With Low Muscle Tone!

HELP HAS ARRIVED!

The Informed Parent and Happiest Baby on the Block

I read The Informed Parent recently to decide whether it would be a good resource for my clients, and found that the chapters on The Art and Science of Baby Soothing, SIDS, and Sleep Training were worth reading.  This book distills a lot, a whole lot, of research that can confuse those parents who want some clarity in a sea of recommendations. The problem?  The authors, Tara Haelle and Emily Willingham, left me wanting for some good resources to offer parents once they have made their own conclusions about the available research.  They did do something wonderful for me as a Happiest Baby educator:  they included many, many research references to the 5 S’s that support the use of Dr. Karp’s techniques to calm newborns.  If you ever wondered whether swaddling is bad for your baby’s hips or whether pacifiers would help or hurt your chances of successful breastfeeding, the authors have some science-based answers for you.

As an example of what their book offers parents, the chapter on sleep training appeared to summarize all of the research findings by saying that bad sleepers aren’t necessarily disturbed or deficient.  The most helpful conclusion was that children whose parents were available to them emotionally during the bedtime period had fewer sleep disruptions. Parents might be feel less guilty but this won’t help anyone go to sleep.  If a parent is frustrated, tired, and distracted, and has an authoritarian approach to sleep: “Go to sleep NOW, because I said so!”, I believe that they are more likely to end up with a child that doesn’t want to go to sleep at bedtime, and screams for bottles or cuddles at 4 am.  But how exactly does this observation help anyone?  Perhaps there are parents that recognize themselves in that description and decide to change, but I suggest that most of us do not see ourselves as emotionally unavailable, even when we are.   My experience is that the parent-child pairs I have met who have an insecure-resistant mode of attachment (psych-speak for a child that desires parent contact but then reacts angrily or is resistant/fussy when given attention) are completely oblivious to how they contribute to their child’s behavior.   It is going to take more that a summary of scientific studies to have parents recognize the effect of their interactions on sleep problems.

I was disappointed that the authors included the “Purple crying” concept of Dr. Ronald Barr in their discussion of parents that shake a persistently crying infant.  Nothing in this  “approach” is scientific.  Telling parents that colicky crying is normal, but not offering more than “put the baby down and don’t shake him” is reprehensible when methods such as Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s  have actually helped so many families.  Of course shaking is never OK!  I really doubt that anyone that has had a screaming infant has ever felt that “knowing that crying is common and not abnormal” was very helpful.  What you want at that point to avoid doing something harmful is a solution, not a platitude.

Read The Informed Parent and let me know what was helpful and what just made you want some successful easy-to-use strategies for babies and toddlers!

To schedule a in-home training with me in the NYC metro area, or to buy a phone/video consult, visit my website and select the service that fits your needs.