Author Archives: Tranquil Babies

About Tranquil Babies

I am a nationally certified Happiest Baby on the Block educator, a licensed pediatric occupational therapist in private practice, and a licensed massage therapist with a specialization in infant massage and special needs massage. I provide services privately in the NYC area, and I contract my services to Early Intervention agencies. Although I have worked in hospitals and outpatient centers, my passion is working with children in their homes. Home is where the most change can happen, where parents feel most comfortable asking questions, and where children can use their own toys and equipment in treatment. Learning about Happiest Baby and Happiest Toddler techniques transformed my ability to connect with babies and both respect young children and set limits that did not crush their spirits. Massage has been a powerful way to treat neuromuscular issues in children, but it also helps me to connect with those that have difficulty communicating. Finding Handwriting Without Tears totally changed my ability to evaluate and help children write legibly with ease. I want to share everything I have learned in these domains over the years, and give you the best strategies for success. Every child deserves to be the best that they can be, but that is only possible if the adults around them create a supportive environment. By offering ideas and insights, I hope to give families, teachers and therapists new ways to create that magic space.

OT and Non-Disabled Gifted Children

I was asked to write another guest post for Therapro, the fantastic OT equipment and materials company that I have been using for clinic and home items for years.  This time the subject is gifted children:  Do Gifted But Non-Disabled Children Need Occupational Therapy?.

The first time you encounter a young gifted child, you may not know that their advanced skills could be contributing to their behavior.  Giftedness is more than advanced intellectual ability, it is a whole-brain difference.  The fMRI studies done in the last decades have proved that to be true.  Gifted kids can have sensory and behavioral responses that suggest they have ADHD, oppositional disorder, or sensory processing disorder.  Some are conclusively “twice-exceptional” , but many are just responding to a brain that is wired for intense and complex interactions.  Schools are geared to routines and benchmarks.  Let the problems commence!

Occupational therapy has always been focused on helping people achieve their best lives.  Having abilities that are on the far sides of any bell curve can make life harder, so my take is that occupational therapists can be helpful to kids that are struggling because of their talents and gifts, not just due to delays and deficits.

Read my post, then tell me about your gifted child, or the gifted children that you have seen as a therapist or teacher.  They really are interesting kids in so many ways!

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The Elf on the Shelf Could Get Your Child to Write a Letter to Santa!

 

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Write to Santa, but KEEP the note since the elf brings it to the North Pole…and then back to your home!

‘Tis the season, and Elf On The Shelf is back for more fun!  Some parents adore the concept and cannot wait to move that little elf around the house every night, and others mock him and his expanding merchandising.  Now that he is getting kids to write and draw, and parents will be able to save the heartfelt message as an ornament, I’m in with the Elf!  Not familiar with the Elf story?  Read Elf on the Shelf Controversy: Let’s Try Positive Gossiping to Santa.  Used as an encouragement and not a punishment or a threat, I am OK with this holiday tradition.

You use the paper and materials in the kit to write and bake-off a letter into an ornament that the elf “shows” to Santa on his nightly trip, and then he “returns” it to your tree.  The kit includes a storybook, materials to write, bake and hang your ornament.

As a pediatric occupational therapist, I wanted to share a few ideas that could make this more fun and a bit less stressful for children that struggle with handwriting, learning and attention issues:

  • The set includes 8 special sheets of paper that will get baked off in the oven to create an ornament, but I would encourage everyone to have their child refine their message and practice writing/drawing the note on regular paper before putting it on the special sheets.  Use these sheets as a template so that your child is aware that they can’t write more than a few lines at most.  There is no way to erase on the special sheets, and although some errors are charming, a child can be heartbroken if they think that they are sending a messy message.
  • I would encourage parents to consider copying the message so that kids have a sample to copy, rather than free writing.  Copying is an easier task in the developmental progression of handwriting, and reduces the stress for success on kids.  Nobody needs stress when making a special request to Old Saint Nick.
  • Younger kids, or kids with strong fears of failure or anxiety in general can draw or decorate a parent’s writing.  As long as they are involved, I don’t think it has to be all or nothing.  Many of my most avoidant clients get excited when I tell them that they just have to draw a sun (circle with rays) or some grass (short vertical lines that start at the top and descend to a baseline) to a picutre that I am drawing, and I  will take care of all the hard stuff.  Sometimes they even decide that they want to draw much more than they were planning to contribute.
  • Encourage your child to make the letters and designs a bit large, since they will shrink with the baking process.  Most young children cannot comprehend this step and will assume that the finished product will come out of the oven the same size that it was when it went in.  Tiny details may not be visible, tiny letters may be illegible.  Make a sample if possible for children that need proof of everything before they believe you.
  • If you know that your child may be impulsive or has such significant struggles with design, handwriting, or decision-making that you will need more than 8 sheets to create one final project, buy two kits.  The holidays are challenging enough without a fun activity ending without even one finished ornament.  If things go well and you don’t need the extra box, you have something that can be a wonderful gift for another family this season!

If you use this kit with your child this Christmas season, please write a comment and let my readers know how it worked out for you!

 

 

Gifted Or Disordered? The Unrecognized Behavioral Traits of Young Gifted Children

 

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Here is a short list of many common behavioral characteristics of gifted children:

  1. Spontaneous. 
  2. Boundless enthusiasm.
  3. Intense focus on passions.  
  4. Highly energetic.  This is the child who doesn’t seem to need as much sleep or downtime as peers.
  5. Constantly asking questions.  Constantly.
  6. Insatiably curious.  Everything is interesting, all the time.
  7. Impulsive, eager and spirited.  Novelty is a total turn-on, not to be feared.
  8. Persistent and goal-directed in areas that are important to them.
  9. Very easily frustrated, especially when they are unable to meet their own standards.
  10. Volatile temper when perceiving that they have failed.
  11. Chatty; absolutely a non-stop talker.

So…now are you excited to parent a gifted child, or to have one in your class or in your therapy clinic?  Or are you thinking “This sounds more like a child with learning problems, not gifts, and it sounds even be more like a child with autism”.    Or even “Children like these could be really annoying”.  Well, you aren’t alone.  Many of these characteristics exhaust adults, and create difficulties when gifted children try to navigate the world of typical kids and adults.  They may be 5-10% of the population, but they can be the source of 80% of the excitement in your home, class or clinic.  And they are often misdiagnosed as troubled rather than talented, just based on their behavior.

Welcome to the world of the gifted and those who interact with them.  It isn’t all sparkling conversation and shining rows of chess/debate medals.  Gifted children that have many or most of these characteristics may also be amazingly sensitive to others, the world around them, and to their own inner experiences.  That combination of behavior and sensitivity makes for some intense and often exhausting interactions that others find irritating or worse.   It really is the gift that keeps on giving.  And we aren’t even talking about the twice exceptional children. These children have diagnosable difficulties with learning, behavior, movement and sensory processing in addition to their gifted qualities.  They often wait years before clinicians parse out which is which.

So how could you know if the child in front of you is actually gifted, other than a psychologist’s tests?  And even if you know you have a certified smartypants, how can you determine whether their behavior is typical for gifted people or a sign of a disorder?  The answer could be to assess the quality of their behavior while looking at the level of cognition, the complexity of the conversation and the emotional depth and intensity of the interaction when compared to their age.

A three-year old that can eagerly exchange ideas regarding how tornados differ from hurricanes in their potential for damage and their source of power for 10 minutes is exhibiting a level of comprehension, intensity, curiosity, persistence and enthusiasm that you don’t typically see in this age group.   His ability to string together concepts, retain and analyze information,  respond to your own perspective and tune into your emotional tone during the discussion gives you clues that this is a gifted child, not a child with attention issues or autism.

A five year-old that paints and re-paints a picture until the colors and shapes express exactly how happy she was at the zoo may also be showing you some of these characteristics.   Her frustrated insistence on a complete representation of form and emotion, as well as her unique use of media are telling you a lot about her talents.  If you are amazed that all this focus doesn’t tire her out but energizes her more; there’s another clue.  The depth of her joy she has while creating or when opening a box of new pastels, like Christmas has come again, is another hint that she may be gifted.

When a child’s asynchronous development gets in the way, a gifted child can struggle.  Most gifted children aren’t gifted in every area of development, so a gifted artist may not be able to physically draw what she sees in her mind, a gifted writer may not be able to write his book legibly at 6, and a gifted athlete may not be able to handle her team losing.  That is where wise adults can provide strong support and education in managing their talents and explaining their struggles to gifted children.

I am frequently asked as an OT for ideas on how to manage gifted toddlers in class and at home, and I wrote a short post earlier this year in response Gifted at Preschool: How to Support The Young Gifted Child In Class.  For suggestions on how to make life easier at home, my suggestions focus more on building sensory and emotional tolerance for kids, and teaching self-awareness and self-calming skills.

If your child receives OT for any reason, this may be a place to start.  Check out this post for more information:  How Occupational Therapy Can Help Gifted Children (And Their Exhausted Parents!)  Occupational therapists that can see the difference between gifted traits and symptoms of an attentional or learning disorder can help parents on this amazing journey of discovery with their gifted child.

Helping Little Kids Cut With Scissors

 

 

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terrific safe scissors for little hands!

I am very proud to share my latest post on Therapro, a terrific company that I have used for years to find quality therapy equipment.  They were nice enough to allow me to be a guest blogger this month, and so I wanted my readers to have the chance to go over there and check out my scissors post.  Here it is: Helping Little Kids Cut .

Therapro sells a wide variety of scissors for use in therapy and at home, so if you are not sure what you need, ask your occupational therapist for some advice.  My best suggestion is safety first; don’t buy a scissor that will cut skin unless you know that your child will be able to respond to your safety guidelines.  After that, some kids need a scissor that opens back up for them after they close it, and some need more physical assist to close the scissor as well.  The best scissor is the one that your child will use and will assist them to be successful.

To learn any skill, it helps if a child is interested and engaged.  Getting them there can be a problem.  That is what this post is all about; the preparation and presentation that makes kids want to learn.  So take a look at  my post on Therapro’s site, and let me know what you think!!

Why Eating From a Pouch Isn’t Helping Your Child As Much As You Think

 

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Sucking food from a pouch has become a common way to funnel fruits, veggies and even protein into young children.  Few kids are eating them because they have oral motor or sensory processing problems that don’t allow them to eat solid food.  Most of the pouch kids are picky eaters or eating a pouch “on the fly” in between activities and locations.

I know very well what a food fight looks like with a picky eater.  All that whining, food flying onto the floor, and fears that your child will either starve or be nutritionally deprived.  It can get ugly.  I know.  But when pouches are more than an occasional emergency ration, they aren’t without some costs.

Here is what you risk when pouches replace solid food:

  1. Your child’s digestive system needs the physical fiber to learn how to handle it well. A colon that has very little fiber isn’t capable of dealing with regular food as well.  You risk constipation and then you have to treat that problem.  And your child feels awful when “backed up”.  Don’t let them suffer that belly pain when they are capable of eating foods with fiber.  Natural fiber.
  2. If your child is young enough to be still learning to speak (and some sounds, like “th” don’t fully emerge until 3.5-5 years old), eating, chewing and even swallowing still counts as exercise and motor learning for all the structures/movements that accomplish this amazing task.  Sucking on a nozzle doesn’t support learning anything unless you are under 6 months old.  Oops.
  3. Eating is a social activity, done over time and with other humans.  Not with tablets, not with screens.  With people that model language, social and feeding skills.  Sucking down a pouch is a one-and-done experience that sends a child off their chair and back to playing too fast to absorb much of anything.
  4. Eating is a fine motor activity, from finger feeding to spoon use with soup.  Miss out on all that work, and you might find that your child is the slowest writer or even hates to write and draw.  They haven’t spent the first 3 years of life refining finger movements in the most rewarding way possible.  Food in: successful hand use.  Food on the bib/table/floor?  Recalculate and refine finger use.

What do those pouches really provide?  An easy way to feed a child nutritious food ingredients without an argument.  The problem is that all that work for kids and parents when they eat real food with their fingers or utensils is actually an investment in current and future skills that too many children need today.

Looking for more information on building self-feeding skills?  Read Teaching Children To Use Utensils to Eat: Use Good Tools, Good Food, and Good Timing for some hints on how to make things easier, and Teach Spoon Grip By Making It Fun And Sharing a Laugh With Your Child for the most fun and easy way to practice holding a spoon.

Make Wiping Your Child’s Nose Easier With Boogie Wipes

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It is cold and flu season here in the states, and I have already seen my share of snot-caked little faces.  Little children get more colds than older kids and adults, and they can turn into an agitated mess when you say “Honey, I need to wipe your nose”.  These wipes are going to make your job as chief booger-wiper a lot easier!

When I first saw Boogie Wipes, I will confess that I thought it was another expensive product to separate first-world parents from their money.  After all, I grew up on dry tissues and I survived.

I was wrong.  These really work.

At first, I thought that the use of moisture was the key to their success.  Not so.  Parents told me that using a regular baby wipe didn’t “do the deal” the way a Boogie Wipe took care of the snot problem and made kids calm down about nose-wiping.  I had to find out what really made this product better.

  1. Boogie Wipes have a few important ingredients that separate them from the standard baby wipes.  The first ingredient is water.  The second ingredient is sodium chloride; good old salt.  Saline is a combo of these two ingredients, and saline softens the gluey crud that is dried-on snot.  It also thins the still-wet snot so you can wipe it away without pressing so hard on tender skin.  Yeah!
  2. The next four ingredients are aloe leaf juice, chamomile flower extract, vitamin E and glycerin.  All gentle and (to most children) non-irritating skin conditioners.  I am a huge fan of Puffs Plus tissues, but these wipes are gentler than my fave tissues.  Children’s skin is so much more delicate than ours, and the ingredients in snot are so irritating.  That is even before it becomes a dried-on coating.  Boogie Wipes leave a thin coating of skin conditioners after you wipe your child’s face.  This coating acts as a slight skin barrier for the next drip of snot.  Brilliant!

The remaining ingredients are preservatives that prevent your open container of Boogie Wipes from becoming a source of germs instead of a source of relief.  I am sure that there are children who react to these preservatives, but I haven’t yet met any families that report problems over the years that this product has been available in NY.

Unless you know your child will react to these specific preservatives, I recommend trying the unscented version first (they come in fresh and lavender scents too) and using them before your child gets a cold.  It is kinder to find out that they are sensitive to any ingredients before their skin is already irritated by all that snot from an illness.  Kids whose skin is going to react will likely do so when well, but their skin can recover from any irritation more quickly when their immune system is not also fighting a bad cold.

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The Boogie folks do sell a saline spray as well as wipes, and I am all for using saline spray to loosen up internal nose crud.  The problem with sprays isn’t that they don’t work.  They do, and they work well.

The problem is that children are naturally avoidant of us sticking things up their noses, and they are really bad at controlling the “sniff” in order to efficiently suck the spray up into their sinuses.  I teach children how to blow their noses and how to handle sprays.  It is part of my job as an OTR.  Not the best part, but nevertheless, a part of teaching ADLs.  I haven’t had much success teaching children under 3 to use nose sprays.  They just get more frightened and upset.  If you have an older child or a child that seems less afraid of nose examinations at the pediatrician, then go ahead and give sprays a try.  It can really loosen up a clogged nose.

Good luck trying Boogie Wipes, or try the generic versions that I am starting to see on store shelves.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so manufacturers are telling us that they also know that these products really work!

A Simple Strategy To Improve Your Child’s Posture In A Tripp Trapp or Special Tomato Chair

 

Therapists often recommend these well-designed seats for kids that need solid foot support, but even the best hip and chest strapping doesn’t always mean that a child is actively using their feet for postural control.

As a young therapist, I used tape, foam, and towel rolls everywhere, as if I was creating a modern sculpture.  For the most part, all I got for my effort was frustration.  Food and force tend to make short work of the most ingenious wedges and supports on a chair used for feeding.  Then I got smarter and decided to make this a lot easier on everyone.

I wanted to share my easiest strategy for helping children place their feet on a foot plate and keep them there:  shoes!

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The little guy in the “before” photo has generalized low tone and hypermobility.  His pelvis is reasonably stable using the existing straps on the chair, and he is able to reach forward to finger-feed, partially activating his trunk and hips.  But those feet just tapped away, and his legs extended at the knee through most of the meal.  He is too little to respond to any verbal prompts for posture but not addicted to gaining sensory input though his feet.  He is there for the food!

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Non-skid soles, and totally stylish, too!

Just putting on his tiny boat shoes gives him some “grip” on the foot plate, and he stayed in this position for the rest of the meal with our repositioning!  He still has to develop some hip control so his knees don’t move laterally as he reaches forward.  This is an easy hack to help him get some distal stability without constantly touching and repositioning him.  Kids really start to hate all our manhandling after a while.

Hope this gives parents and therapists an idea that requires very little effort and can  deliver results immediately!