Monthly Archives: December 2019

How Using Dr. Karp’s Fast Food Rule Transforms Kids With Special Needs

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Yes, I said the word transform.  I know that hyperbole isn’t always appropriate when you are a therapist (we try to hedge our bets with predictions), but I am willing to go out on a limb in this instance and say that learning this single Happiest Toddler on the Block technique will make a difference with any child with special needs that functions with over a 12-15 month cognitive level.  Will it work with older children?  Absolutely.  Done right, it will also work on spouses and co-workers!

What is the Fast Food Rule?  You can read more about it here Help Your Child Develop Self-Regulation With Happiest Toddler On The Block but the simplest way to explain it is that when you have an upset person, they get to express themselves first, then the adult paraphrases the upset person’s expression with about 1/3 of the emotion that was used.  The paraphrasing is done at the level of comprehension of the upset person.  This means that someone who has a very low language level and is very upset may only hear “You say NO NO NO”.  Remember that any degree of agitation immediately lowers language comprehension IN EVERYONE.  Even you.

That’s it.  The phrase may have to be repeated a few times until the adult observes signs that the upset person’s agitation is decreasing (not necessarily over).  What are those signs?  A decrease in screaming volume or intensity, more eye contact, stillness of the body, turning to the adult rather than turning away, etc.  If the problem isn’t clear, altering the phrase is OK.  No harm done if you get it wrong; try again to state what their problem is.

ONLY WHEN THE UPSET PERSON HAS DECREASED THEIR AGITATION IS IT PERMISSIBLE TO OFFER A SOLUTION, OR EVEN CONSOLATION.

Why?  Because until the upset person REGISTERS that the adult understands the nature and the degree of stress, they will continue to protest to make their point.  It doesn’t matter if the point is pointless.  All the better.  Being understood is more important than being corrected.  Always.

Because young children’s brains are immature, their agitation may start up again after the problem is solved.  This is neurological, not psychological.  Rinse and repeat the FFR, and come out on the other side calmer.

Why does this transform the life of a special needs child?

Kids with special needs often need to be more regulated than the average child.  They can be unsteady, difficult to understand even when calm, have medical issues that get worse when they are agitated, and fatigue rapidly on a good day.  Being upset makes safety, endurance, sensitivity and sensory seeking worse.  Sometimes much worse.

If your child or your client has any of these issues (and I have yet to work with a child with special needs that doesn’t have ONE or more of them), then you need to learn the FFR today and use it consistently.

  • Kids with cerebral palsy can move with better safety awareness and expend less energy.
  • Kids with hyper mobility are also safer, less fatigued and can focus on movement quality.
  • Children with sensory processing issues are more modulated, less aversive or sensory seeking.
  • Kids with ASD do less self-stimulation and have less aggressive behaviors.

 

The biggest obstacle for me?  Using Dr. Karp’s Toddler-See language strategy and fearing that I sounded like an idiot in front of parents who were paying me a lot of money to treat their child.  It turns out that not being able to calm a child makes me look like an idiot, and effectively getting a child calm and focused makes me look like a skilled professional.

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Should the PARENTS of Kids With Sensory Issues Use Quickshifts?

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My clients and my blog readers know that I started using a therapeutic sound treatment called Quckshifts earlier this year Quickshifts: A Simple, Successful, and Easy to Use Treatment For Regulation, Attention, and Postural Activation.  I haven’t lost my enthusiasm for this treatment.  It has made easy sessions more effective, and difficult sessions workable.  Kids that are struggling get a boost, and kids that needed a lot of preparatory sensory activity to regulate and engage rapidly find their footing.

Could this be useful for parents too?

There is no age limit on the use of Quickshifts, and the creators at Vital Links write and speak about treating adults using this program in their training materials.  But thus far I haven’t heard them talk about the use of Quickshifts with the parents of their clients.  I wonder why.

If you have a child with sensory issues, even one who attends mainstreamed programs and is doing fairly well in social activities, your days have a certain level of stress in them.  Sensory diets work, but they also take work to use and monitor.  Children aren’t crockpots, so you are actively administering or at least setting up the activities the comprise a sensory diet.  Kids reach bumps in the road, and kids with sensory issues can have bigger meltdowns over smaller bumps.  Parents have to help them manage things that other kids shrug off.  And parents always are thinking ahead, wondering what effect a new summer camp or new school with have on their child.  Even when things are going well, parents can feel some stress about all of these things.

It is well known that if you are a therapist treating children with sensory processing issues, at least one parent could say to you “Wow; I used to have the same problems, and everyone told me I was just being difficult/stubborn/picky, etc.”  Treatment options picked up in the early 90s, so we do hear this less and less.  But not in every community  or school system.  And if a parent’s parents refused to “believe” in sensory treatment, then these kids got nothing.  Or perhaps they were sent to a psychologist.  When I describe their child’s experiences using sensory processing terms, some parents recognize that their responses are very similar.  They have been told, or they have assumed, that they are reacting psychologically to events or stimuli.  They now are thinking differently about themselves as well as their children.

Finally, in this era of #MeToo, there is growing awareness that many of the parents of the children we work with bring their own trauma with them into parenting  Are You a Trauma Survivor AND the Parent of a Special Needs Child?.  I just did a presentation in FL (Feb2020) on using sensory processing treatment to help adults with traumatic dissociation.  The dysregulation that accompanies trauma doesn’t disappear after delivering a child.  At times, having a child can bring past traumas up to the surface and create problems that seems to have been handled or forgotten.  These parents need our support and assistance.

Which brings us to the question:  Should the parents of kids with sensory processing issues, especially the parents that have problems with self-regulation, use Quickshifts as well?

My strong opinion is that since there isn’t a downside, they should give the Regulation albums a try, and see how they navigate a typical day after listening.  The changes in adults are more subtle because their lives are more complex.  Parents need to know what changes to look for: usually the ability to remain calm with transitions, to focus on a task or to think a process through more easily.

Parents with more anxious tendencies might use Gentle Focus successfully, and parents that need to up-regulate would love Synching Up or Rockin’ Surf.  The decision to use Quickshifts and how to select albums really is easier when you consult an OT.  Wasting money and time buying and using the wrong album is unnecessary!  I love working with adults that have regulation issues or sensory sensitivities.  The relief in their faces tells me that they are getting the help they need to be their best.

 

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Can Harvey Karp’s HTOTB Strategies Help Kids AND Adults with Regulation Issues?

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Many child psychologists and psychotherapists are focusing on attachment theory and the problems of poor emotional regulation in children.  The rise of self-harm behaviors in teens and aggression in children as young as 3 can be related to difficulties handling emotions and experiences that increase arousal levels but never get resolved.

Not every child who throws their book down in frustration or slams their bedroom door needs to see a therapist.  But I do wonder how many of those teens that cut themselves, starve themselves or get suspended for putting their hands on a teacher or fellow student, actually needed Dr. Karp’s techniques when they were 3 or 4.  Maybe, just maybe, if they had been helped with Patience Stretching when they wanted that toy, or if someone had used the Fast Food Rule with them when they had a tantrum Use The Fast Food Rule For Better Attunement With Your Child, maybe they would be in better shape at 13.

Why?

Because these techniques don’t just work on the child.  They work on the adult using them as well.  And adults who can self-regulate raise kids who learn to do it too.

When I use Patience Stretching Stretch Your Toddler’s Patience, Starting Today!with a toddler that wants one toy while I want them to work a bit longer on a therapy task, I am actually receiving the benefits of the technique as well.  I am both teaching and experiencing the reduction in frustration and the decrease in agitation as this strategy calms down the whole situation.  Oxytocin gets released when we calm down with a child, and adults need that hit as much as children do.  If we “go there” with an agitated child, we feel worse, even if we think we won because we have the power to deny or punish.  It doesn’t feel good to do either, but it also doesn’t feel good to give into a screaming child.  Not really.  Even the most permissive adult will say no to something dangerous, and then the child who is unfamiliar with hearing “no” will really explode.

The good news is that you don’t have to get an advanced degree to use Dr. Karp’s strategies.  You have to practice them so that your delivery is flexible and confident, but anyone can do it, not just therapists.  In fact, if these techniques don’t work well once you improve your delivery, that could be one way to decide that you need to consult a child specialist.

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When Should You Tell A Child NOT to Erase Their Mistake?

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I wrote a post on erasing Teach Your Kindergartener How To Erase Like a Big Kid and one on erasers Problems With Handwriting? You Need The Best Eraser , but there are a few situations in which you don’t want a child to run for the eraser.

  1. The child who stalls for time.  Some kids want to run down the clock on their therapy session or on their homework time, and realize that erasing can help them do just that.  The fun of rubbing the eraser on the paper exceeds the fun of struggling to write or struggling to answer a question.
  2. The kid that gets upset when they make a mistake.  Some children are oblivious, but some are distressed when they write poorly.  So upset that they lose some of their focus and ability to listen to your suggestions/instructions.
  3. The child who persistently traces over their original mistake.  These kids were taught with a lot of tracing in pre-K and K, and their brains have been trained to trace.  When they see the faint outline of their mistake, they have to struggle NOT to trace it.  Oops.

What SHOULD you do?

These strategies assume that an adult is helping a child directly.  You may not need to remain there for the entire homework assignment, but adult assistance is needed to get this train turned around:

  • Ask them to write the word again.  You may need to fold the paper so that their mistake is not visible, but a correct model is visible.  You may have to write a new visual model in the margins or above their work space.
  • Use Handwriting Without Tears pages.  Their workbook pages are designed to be simple but offer visual models across the page, not just at the left margin.
  • Erase the mistake yourself.  Adults can use more force and erase more effectively.
  • Make a copy (or 2) of your child’s homework so that you can ask them to start over again, but only if it is a short assignment.  No one wants to rewrite a long page.
  • Provide more instruction before they begin their word or sentence.  A reminder that certain letters are tricky or that they need to space words out How Do You Teach Word Spacing? can prevent errors.

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